


A Night That's Just For Us

by MoonBaesTilly



Series: From Words On Paper, To Voices In The Air [2]
Category: NCT (Band), Stray Kids (Band), The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Humor, I love The Boyz and so should you, I promise the ending shall be happy, Just a lil bit sad, M/M, Mentioned The Boyz Ensemble, Mild Swearing, Moonbae, Romance, Side moonbae, added Felix because he's a sweetheart and good friends with Eric, bbangnyu, college sort of sucks tbh, freshman x junior, let's be honest we stan crackhead, sangric, side bbangnyu
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:42:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27199348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonBaesTilly/pseuds/MoonBaesTilly
Summary: Sangyeon’s life has never been his, not since the day he was born.He obeyed the rules, followed the plans, always doing what was expected of him. Still, he felt like he had no purpose, no identity - ironic considering the fact that his future held a powerful position for him as the head of his father’s company, with an even more powerful name to match.In a last-ditch attempt to do something, anything at all that would add some value to his life beyond the surface level, he decides to go to college and get a degree, all while still working for his father in preparation to claim the company.When it starts to look like fighting against the will of his family is pointless, a hurricane arrives in the form of a grey-eyed boy who stares at Sangyeon like he’s all that matters, filling him with a desire to tend to this person who seems a little lost, but still wants him.Not for his name. Not for his fortune. Him.And he’s not sure how to handle it.**“Did you make mistakes? When you were a freshman?”“No. I didn’t.”“Really? I guess you’re still perfect…”
Relationships: Bae Joonyoung | Jacob/Moon Hyungseo | Kevin, Choi Chanhee | New/Kim Younghoon, Lee Sangyeon/Son Youngjae | Eric
Series: From Words On Paper, To Voices In The Air [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1980538
Comments: 9
Kudos: 45
Collections: Works about The Boyz





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there!
> 
> Firstly, I will apologize if you read my other work, and you’ve been waiting for this one for over two weeks. I am so sorry, it took me a while to settle down, and I had to rewrite it because, at some point, it just didn’t feel right. I almost just said, “screw it” and canceled, but I love this idea, and I really want to share it. I know it seems a little off, but I promise it gets better. I’m familiarizing myself with Sangyeon and Eric to deliver accurate descriptions and responses so that you guys can relate better to it, and I want this to be enjoyable for all of us.  
> I know that it appears to be part of a series, but it has no connection whatsoever to the other story. The title of the series means that the stories were inspired by songs (written as lyrics on paper before sang), so you can read them in whatever order you like.  
> I don’t want this to be too long so I’ll stop here and continue at the end. I hope you like it and that you give it a chance. Enjoy!

_He should’ve said no._

Sangyeon glanced around for the fifth time, attempting to find his friend - a title that wouldn't exist, _not for much longer,_ as the other was so dead the moment he was found - coming up empty and sighing, closing his eyes to revel in his regrets.

He did, in fact, say no, he recalled; however, his friend had been pretty adamant.

“Please.”

“Not a chance in hell,” Sangyeon mumbled, not taking his eyes off his computer.

“ _Come onnnnnn_. When have I ever asked you for anything so desperately?”

“An hour ago. And five times before that.” was Sangyeon’s automatic response.

Younghoon pouted, shutting the laptop and picking it up off the desk. Sangyeon felt his right eye twitch in annoyance, pursing his lips before an inevitable curse could leave it.

“You’ve been at this for hours. You need a break, and I need company.”

“What I need is to finish all my work before I kill you. And company is the last thing you need - you’re friends with nearly every soul on campus. There’s no way you’d be alone for a second, the moment you set foot at that thing.”

Younghoon appeared to consider arguing, conceding seconds later to try another approach.

“Okay, but I want you to come with me.”

“And I would like to not have three hours worth of paperwork to sort through, but y’know, life sucks.”

“Sangyeon.”

“Younghoon.”

The younger sighed and put the laptop back on the desk, leaning over it to make eye contact with the other, pulling his best _I’m precious, you love me, now give me what I want_ pout before speaking.

“You need this. A break. Don’t think I haven't noticed your stress meter going critical. You need to unwind and relax, be silly for a change, and have fun. Work can wait till tomorrow.”

Sangyeon would like to think he relented because Younghoon had a point, and he wanted to get away from his desk for a bit, but the reality was that he was weak and Younghoon had pried the last ounce of refusal from his veins.

Sitting alone now - the little shit had vanished within twenty seconds of their arrival - he realized he should’ve fought harder because a freaking freshman orientation after-party wasn’t somewhere anyone should go to relax.

There were so many people, contributing greatly to the amount of pointless noise and chatter filling the air. It was ridiculous how much he hated it, but his reasons were beyond the inability to hear himself think.

It was easy to point out which students were freshmen, judging by wide eyes, fresh faces, filled with so much hope for the start of a new chapter of their lives, with no clue of what college had in store for them.

For many, things might go as smoothly as they expect and hope. For others, countless disappointments awaited them. Sangyeon wished he could resent their innocence and cluelessness; sadly, all he felt at that moment was jealousy at the blissful ignorance he never had in his life.

For a second, he wondered what it was like to be full of expectations, optimistic, and excited to begin a new journey. As someone whose entire life had been planned, those concepts seemed foreign and strange, and it was easier to pretend they didn’t exist rather than deliver his heart to obtain more scars by letting himself wonder.

A loud screech pulled him out of his thoughts, and he looked up, eyebrow quirking in curiosity as a girl and a boy climbed the auditorium’s stage, each with a megaphone in hand.

“Alright, everyone, let’s take our seats. Don’t worry, you’ll have time to flirt and collect phone numbers later.”

There were a couple of groans and giggles in response as the students who had been standing shuffled around to find a seat, still somehow maintaining the same level of audio ruckus.

Someone sat next to him, and he tensed up, not keen on making friends at that moment, letting out a sigh of relief when he glanced at the person and a kind, familiar face smiled back at him.

“I didn’t expect you to be here.”

Sangyeon huffed, folding his arms as he sulked like the petulant child he allowed himself to be, only ever in front of this person.

“You can blame Younghoon when I find him and kill him.”

Jacob laughed. “I saw him earlier, distributing heartaches as usual. He didn’t tell me he managed to get you to tag along.”

“Probably because he knew you’d scold him for pulling me away from my work.”

Jacob shook his head gently, causing his blonde hair to ruffle softly.

“It’s possible he thought I’d already seen you. I’ve been here for hours.”

“Why are you here, anyway? I thought you’d be at the café. I actually planned on dropping by once this madness was over.” Sangyeon spoke, leaning closer so Jacob could hear him clearly over the noise.

“Oh, my department needed an extra hand with the new students, so I offered to help. The café didn’t really need me today.”

That was Jacob, ever so willing to lend a hand, always so kind and warm. When Sangyeon first met him, he hadn't wanted anything to do with the other, uncomfortable with Jacob’s natural maternal instincts that seemed to constantly need to fawn over Sangyeon’s well-being. He’d never had anyone so concerned with how he was doing, and the feeling of how nice it was scared him.

Eventually, Jacob convinced him that it was perfectly normal to be cared for, and there was no reason he had to hide from it. His response had been nonchalant, but Jacob had stuck with him ever since, and Sangyeon would rather die than say he didn’t appreciate it.

“Okay, we’re all settled. Good.” the girl who had spoken earlier continued, “Hello again, everyone. I hope we’ve all been having a great time.”

A roar of excited cheers responded to her comment, and she smiled, letting her partner continue.

“That’s great. We understand that being a college freshman isn't easy, and sometimes it can feel a little lonely - not just because you’re in a new environment but because you’re taking such an important leap into your future, and it might be scary.” the boy said.

Sangyeon had to admit, he had a point. He’d met many students during his first year that had started out strong but eventually caved due to the pressure and workload. Maybe understanding that there were people who were just as nervous might help these kids avoid that.

“So, we picked a couple of freshmen from different departments to share a little bit about themselves and how they feel about college and what they hope to gain from it. With any luck, it will inspire you all and give lots of strength.” the girl concluded, waving as a little group of boys and girls stepped onto the stage.

“That’s pretty sweet. Aww, they look so cute!”

Sangyeon was inclined to agree because for some reason - he’d bet the kids themselves probably weren't really clear on - they were casually dressed in adorable costumes of various creatures, from headbands and hats with cat ears to furry capes. They looked less like college freshmen and more like high schoolers trying to put on a play production of Bambi.

“Very.” Sangyeon agreed with a small smile, scowling seconds later when Younghoon plopped down next to Jacob.

“Hey, guys. What’s up?”

“Come sit next to me, and I’ll tell you.” Sangyeon promised, flexing his hands.

“No, thanks. I’d like to enjoy the view of those adorable kids for a while.”

“You son of a-” Sangyeon paused, glancing at Jacob before relenting. “We live together, Younghoon. I know where you sleep. This isn't over.”

Younghoon had enough sense to look nervous. “Will you avenge me, Cobie dearest?”

Jacob fondly patted his with a smile. “No, but I will cry at your funeral.”

Sangyeon allowed the laugh that had bubbled up in his chest to spill past his lips, ignoring Younghoon’s whines in favor of checking his phone for texts, his smile dropping at the sight of an email from a contact he was in no mood to converse with. A coo from Jacob and an outburst of “ _Holy shit, he’s fucking cute, I wanna eat him up_ ” from Younghoon compelled him to lift his head, stilling at the sight of the boy currently at the center of the stage with a megaphone in his hand. 

As redundant as it might sound, Sangyeon admitted that the boy was “ _fucking cute_ ” because there were no other words in his mind to describe the sight, even as it simultaneously didn’t come close.

He was dressed in what appeared to be a pale pink cloak, depicting an image of a bunny, complete with large, soft-looking bunny ears attached to the hood and paw-like gloves. His platinum blonde hair peeked out of the hood, giving him an angelic aura that prompted an instinctive desire to protect him or hug him; Sangyeon wasn’t sure which came first, only that it was loud and ridiculous.

So he scoffed and rolled his eyes. “The little thing won't last a week.”

“Sangyeon, don’t be mean.” Jacob scolded lightly, perking up when the bunny boy began to speak.

He was clearly nervous, as Sangyeon could see the red hue across the freshman’s cheeks from where he sat, heart, echoing with something he chose to term as annoyance, because _why else would he be flooded with the urge to get the younger off that stage as soon as possible?_

“Um… hi. I’m - I’m Eric. Eric Sohn. A freshman.”

“We know that, sweetheart! What I wanna know is your phone number!” Someone from the audience yelled and received some applause in reply.

“Maybe this wasn’t the best idea.” Jacob murmured, staring pitifully at Eric.

“You think?” Sangyeon sighed, reaching for Younghoon’s solo cup, narrowing his eyes when the other jumped. “Give. It.”

Younghoon held it farther out of reach. “It’s booze.”

“I know that, asshole. You’re the one that told me to get loose.”

At those words, Younghoon immediately handed the cup over. “Of course, best friend of mine. Let me know if you need more.”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” Sangyeon stated, downing the contents of the half-filled cup.

During their conversation, Eric seemed to have recovered some of his courage and continued, even though he’d been offered to chance to back out.

“I’m majoring in Mass Communications, with a minor in dance.” he softly announced.

“That’s great,” the female host grinned. “So, what would you like to be when you graduate?”

That piqued Sangyeon’s curiosity, and he sat back, oddly eager to hear the bunny’s answer, somehow knowing it would be different from what anyone expected.

Eric’s eyes took on a shine, and for the first time since the seven minutes he’d been on the stage, he stood upright, squared his shoulders, and proudly spoke.

“A baseball player.”

“Oh.” Jacob gasped, in tune with Younghoon’s comment of “Seriously?”

The crowd clapped, and Sangyeon remained frozen, plagued by a sudden burst of old memories he’d expected to have long since forgotten.

_“Why do you keep doing that? It’s annoying.”_

_“No, it’s not! I’m gonna be a baseball player!”_

He blinked, losing the images as his current environment claimed his attention once more.

_What was that? Who was that?_

“He seems precious.” Jacob glanced at his watch as another student claimed the center of the stage.

“And interesting.” Younghoon added thoughtfully.

“Leave the kid alone, Younghoon.”

“What did I say? I haven't done anything!”

“ _Yet_.”

“I’m going to the bathroom.” Sangyeon grimaced, rising to his feet.

He barely heard Jacob hurriedly inform him that they’d still be there when he got back or Younghoon’s request for a drink, in too much of a haste to get some air into his lungs and dispel the flurry of thoughts spinning around in his head.

Outside the stuffy space, his ears filled with white noise as the chatter slowly faded away, and in what felt like a split-second decision, he took a right at the end of the hallway instead of a left, ending up at the exit.

The air outside the auditorium was cool and clear, calming down his nerves faster than he expected as he decided to take a little stroll to the fountain a few yards away.

His phone chimed, breaking the blissful silence, and he pulled it out of his pocket, turned it off, and shoved it back in, fine with whatever inevitable consequences might stem from his actions, maybe too tired to care.

About six feet from the fountain, he stopped, wondering for the first time in a while if he’d made the right decision to go to college. Sure, the college, in particular, had been his father’s choice - as was everything else in Sangyeon’s life - but getting a degree had been something he wanted, a goal he wanted to dedicate himself to wholeheartedly, in hopes of having something, anything, to be proud of.

Now… now he could feel the walls closing in, and his vows of being able to handle all of his responsibilities were crumbling before his eyes.

_And he was all alone, as always_.

With a sigh, he turned around to return back to the dreaded auditorium, barely noticing the person approaching before they collided. Sangyeon had just spun around on his heels and therefore was in possession of no balance whatsoever, unable to do anything but serve as the fall-breaker of the other person.

“Ow.” he mumbled as an elbow that certainly wasn’t his dug into his side.

“Oh, shoot, I am so sorry-”

His attacker stopped, eyes wide beneath the fluffy hood with large, drooping bunny ears that hung overhead, lips parted in surprise.

_Oh. The bunny boy._

He looked a lot smaller now that he was on top of Sangyeon, only further adding to the image of innocence he projected earlier, and Sangyeon wanted to know if he was okay, in regards to so much more than the fall.

“Maybe if you took that stupid thing off, you’d be able to see where you’re going.” he snapped instead, ignoring the burn in his chest at the look of dismay on the other’s face.

Quickly, Eric scrambled off him, simultaneously using one hand - _still a paw_ \- to push back the hood, revealing his almost-white hair that stood out in the dim lighting provided by the street lights littered around the area.

“I’m sorry. I was looking for someone and-”

“Whatever. Just be careful.” Sangyeon instructed, brushing past the freshman, heading in the direction of the auditorium without looking back, no matter how much his instincts wanted him to.

As he returned to his seat, he pretended he’d left because there were better things to do than converse with a clueless freshman, who probably still believed that life was all perfect and straight-forward.

Definitely not because his heart wouldn't stop quaking in his chest.

**

Younghoon was a creature of habit, and Sangyeon was a fool for ever believing otherwise. Clearly, the other wasn’t in the mood to change his ways, vanishing once the introductory proceedings were over, making Sangyeon question just how lonely he must’ve been to accept the company of that pest the first time they met.

Jacob still had a few duties to attend to, so he had to leave, offering to treat Sangyeon to a late meal if the other didn’t mind waiting for a while. Sangyeon thought about his empty apartment, and his desk filled with regrets pondered for a second and told Jacob he wouldn't move from where they were seated, so the other could find him easily when he returned.

Jacob had wandered off and returned three minutes later with a can of soda and a cookie for Sangyeon, promising to return as soon as he could.

That was twenty minutes ago, and now, he was snackless and bored. With a shutdown phone and no familiar face around, he had no other choice but to focus his attention on the masses surrounding him for entertainment. He didn’t need to look very far, as nearly everyone was doing or saying something to attract attention in one way or another.

He’d skipped his own freshman orientation (along with the first week of classes), so he never got to experience this provided opportunity to mingle with his mates and make friends on his own, having acquired all his acquaintances through or from Younghoon.

In a way, it felt as if he were living vicariously through the kids before him, and he had to admit, it was pretty fun. Some girls were huddled together, planning to make a trip to a café before their first class on Monday, a few boys were agreeing to hit the gym the next morning - if they could make it out of bed, with all the alcohol they’d been drinking - and some others complained about their roommates.

Sangyeon could only hope that things remained this simple for them, at least long enough for them to become aware of their surroundings before reality settled in. He might’ve sounded insensitive about it earlier, but he really was just worried about them.

Jacob had looked at him one evening after they had dinner - and Sangyeon, drowning in stress, drank past his alcohol limit and let bit about his past slip - and said that the empathy he’d lacked growing up, he’d made up for it by showing it to strangers. He’d told Jacob that the other was full of shit, then spent half an hour searching for the purse of a crying course mate in the parking lot of the restaurant after she showed up less than ten minutes later.

It concerned him how profoundly emotions still affected him, despite how strictly he’d been raised to do without them.

“Eric! Come taste this! It’s amazing.”

Sangyeon turned just in time to see Eric - now free from his bunny get-up - run up to a guy, accepting the meat the other was holding out to him on a toothpick, jumping excitedly barely three seconds after chewing.

“It tastes so good!” Eric gasped, eyes wide and shiny.

“I told you. Try this too.”

Despite his better judgment, Sangyeon felt himself relax, keeping his eyes on the blond freshman as the boy continue to eat happily, excitedly conversing with whoever stopped to speak with him, bouncing about like a hyperactive puppy.

He was incredibly energetic and endearing, and while those were good qualities - _great, even_ \- it wouldn't be long be long before trouble found the boy.

The thought had barely taken shape in Sangyeon’s mind before he saw a group of juniors - a couple he recognized from his classes - walk up to Eric and his friends, most of them focusing their attention on the blonde.

“Hi kids. A couple of us were going to stop by a party a friend of ours is having. There’ll be better booze. Who’s in?” a redhead girl offered.

A couple of freshmen accepted happily, and a few declined, Eric, being among those who graciously refused, smiling as he apologized for his refusal. Clearly, that didn’t bode well with his upperclassmen.

“Oh, come on. Why not?” the girl pouted, stepping closer to Eric.

“I-I don’t drink?” he responded with a hint of uncertainty Sangyeon was positive had occurred as a result of nervousness. “And I have plans for tomorrow, so I need to be up early-”

“We’re giving you a chance of a lifetime, kid.” one of the boys spoke up, also deciding to invade Eric’s personal space. “If you come with us, you’ll be setting up a pretty great reputation for yourself, one not many freshmen get.”

“I’m really thankful - really - but I can't.”

The boy grabbed Eric’s wrist, eyes darkening as he pulled the smaller boy close. “Can’t? Or _won't_? Do you think you’re special, just ‘cause you’re cute?”

Sangyeon couldn't remember deciding to interfere, much less when he rose to his feet. The next thing he knew, Eric was safe behind him, with his wrist now in Sangyeon’s grasp.

“He said no. Are you deaf or just so intent on bullying a kid into giving up his rights, so you can play with him later?”

The boy glared at Sangyeon, pushing back his sleeves in an attempt to look intimidating. “This is none of your concern, dude. Back off and mind your business.”

It was ridiculous, and Sangyeon was far too tired for this. But he could feel Eric shaking behind him, and he couldn't just leave the younger to fend off these creeps.

“He’s my business. So you can either walk away or explain to campus security why you were offering alcohol to minors. Your choice.”

“Jack,” the girl muttered, pulling on the boy’s arm. “Let’s go. It’s not worth it.”

Jack glanced between Sangyeon and Eric, then rolled his eyes and wandered off with his crowd. Exhaling deeply, Sangyeon turned to face the younger, heart sinking when he noticed his glistening eyes.

“Hey, it’s okay. They’re not going to bother you anymore.” Sangyeon mumbled, moving closer to Eric.

The boy blinked, lifting his hands to his cheeks, stopping halfway as they both realized that Sangyeon was still holding onto Eric’s wrist, the former pulling away immediately. Eric sniffed, wiping at his red cheeks, babbling apologies.

“It’s okay. Really. Please stop crying.” Sangyeon pleaded softly, placing a hand on Eric’s shoulder.

“I wasn’t - I’m not… I’m just a little relieved, is all.”

Sangyeon felt his brows furrow slightly. _Relieved?_

Eric stared at him for a bit then looked away, putting some distance between them. “Thank you for helping me. I’m sorry that I bothered you again. I’m gonna head to my dorm-”

“By yourself?”

The younger started to nod, then stopped at the expression of disapproval on Sangyeon’s face, unsure of what to do or say.

“I came with my roommate, but he left early-”

The words were out of Sangyeon’s mouth faster than his brain could process them.

“Sit with me for a bit then. I’m waiting for a friend, and once he arrives, we’ll take you home.”

“I can't - I’ve bugged you enough already-”

“That’s precisely why you’ll let me do this. It’ll haunt me forever if I let you walk off on your own after that.”

Thankfully, it seemed like Sangyeon’s statement had taken the little fight Eric had in him as the younger fell silent and followed Sangyeon to where he’d been sitting. The elder handed him a bottle of water he’d snagged from the refreshments table, and Eric quietly muttered his gratitude, nearly downing its contents in one breath.

Sangyeon thought about texting Jacob, then decided that it was fine if the other found about the situation in person, resting his back against the chair, stilling when Eric did the same.

“I’m really sorry. About bumping into you earlier and… this. I’m just a mess.”

Sangyeon snorted, tilting his head a little so he could glance at the blonde boy. “If you weren't, I’d be worried. It’s okay, freshmen are bound to make mistakes. It helps you learn, and you’ll be better for it… and I’m sorry. For snapping at you earlier. You caught me off-guard.”

His words had emerged a little more honest than he’d intended, and for a second, panic settled in his bones. Then Eric spoke,

“Did you make mistakes? When you were a freshman?”

He didn’t need to think before he replied. “No. I didn’t.”

“Really? I guess you’re still perfect…”

_Still? What was that supposed to mean?_

Sangyeon had parted his lips to ask when he felt a sudden pressure on his shoulder, the words dying in his throat as Eric’s breath evened out. On a normal day - maybe if it had been a different random person - Sangyeon would’ve shrugged them off.

But something about Eric, the moments they’d shared together and words they had exchanged told him that this wouldn't be the last he’d see of the boy.

So he tried not to move, not even when Eric shifted and grabbed onto his arm as he slept. That’s how Jacob found him twenty minutes later, with the younger cuddled against Sangyeon’s side.

“Did you make a new friend?” Jacob teased softly, eyes lighting up with fondness as he glanced between the two of them.

“Please, just wake him up so we can get out of here.” Sangyeon whispered, keeping his gaze where it had been the entire time - the ceiling.

In the next ten minutes, they learned that Eric was a really deep sleeper, barely managing to wake him up and keep him that way long enough to ask him where his dorm was located.

“Poor baby,” Jacob cooed quietly after Sangyeon told him what happened, gently patting Eric’s fluffy hair while the younger resumed his nap on Jacob’s lap while Sangyeon drove to Eric’s dorm. “He must’ve been so scared.”

“As he should’ve been. Jack is a piece of shit.”

“Sangyeon.”

“Sorry. But you know I’m right. And the kid inst making things easier for himself.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Sangyeon’s thoughts faltered, and he clamped his mouth shut, narrowing his eyes as he pretended to give all his attention to the road that lay before them.

“Sangyeon?”

“We’re here. Wake him up.”

They were successful this time, a testament of which was provided by the sight of Eric blinking blearily at his front door.

“Eric, sweetheart, which floor do you live on?” Jacob questioned out of concern.

“... the first?” was Eric’s delayed response.

“Are you sure? Do you want us to escort you to your room?”

“Call your roommate,” Sangyeon instructed.

Eric blinked, pulled his phone out of his pocket, and dialed a number. Once the person on the other line answered, Sangyeon took the phone from him.

“I have your roommate outside your dorm. He fell asleep and… might still be sleeping standing up, and I’m afraid he’ll fall down the stairs or end up in a stranger’s bed. Can you meet us outside and pick him up?”

Sangyeon heard a hasty curse of “ _Damn it, Eric._ ” before the person promised to be down in a minute. Shortly, a dark-haired dressed in blue pajamas stepped through the door, eyes widening at the sight of more people than he expected.

“Um… hi. I’m Sunwoo.”

“Sangyeon. That’s Jacob, and that person belongs to you?” Sangyeon queried, pointing at Eric.

“Yeah,” Sunwoo grunted, pulling Eric from Jacob, regretting it when the boy rested his whole weight on him. “He’s very… energetic. But the dumbass can fall asleep in a second and is nearly impossible to wake. I’m really sorry about this.”

“It’s fine. Do you need any help with him?”

“You’ve done enough. Thank you for bringing him home. I can handle it.” Sunwoo assured them, seconds later reaching up to smack Eric’s back. “Hey! Go sleep on your bed, not me.”

Eric whined, allowing himself to be pulled into the dorm as Sunwoo thanked them once more before they disappeared out of sight.

“They seem nice.” Jacob hummed as they headed back to the car.

“Everyone seems nice to you, Cobie. You’re one of life’s rarest delights.”

“Are you attempting to flatter me because you want to bail on dinner?”

_Damn it._

“I’d flatter you any day, just because,” Sangyeon stated truthfully. “But I am pretty beat, so can we reschedule for lunch tomorrow?”

Jacob smiled, “Of course. Text me when you’re ready. Are you feeling okay, though?”

_No_ , he wanted to say. _I feel bad that I didn’t get to tell him that I didn’t make any mistakes because I couldn't afford to make any._

But that was a problem for tomorrow.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”


	2. Chapter 2

Eric narrowed his eyes and tightened his grip, willing himself to focus because it was neither the time nor place to have a meltdown.

With each passing second, more memories came back, successfully claiming his attention at a moment he couldn't afford to be distracted.

_The way_ _he looked when Eric had bumped into him, that familiar light in_ _his eyes before_ _he brushed past the younger… how_ _he’d protected Eric from falling into the company of someone the boy now knew was a bully and a player._

_Falling asleep in the middle of a conversation._

He swung his bat, eyes slipping shut at the sound of the ball, hitting the glove of the catcher behind him.

“Strike three! Sohn, what the fuck is wrong with you today?!”

His coach was upset, as he should be - because Eric had missed three shots in a row -but that didn’t mean he could handle the loud voice directed at him any better, even if he was to blame.

“I-I’m sorry. I’m having an off morning.”

“The season begins in less than a month, and you’re meant to be our star batter. We don’t have time for you to have an _off morning_. Either get your head in the game or get out.” Coach Davis ordered, immediately turning to lecture someone else.

Eric’s cheeks burned in embarrassment, and his shoulders slumped, eyes refusing to glance up when Juyeon wrapped an arm around him.

“Are you okay?” the brown-haired boy questioned softly.

“Not particularly. I know it’s supposed to be your turn, but can I try again? Just once?” Eric pleased, in desperate need for one thing to go right for him.

_Because Sangyeon didn’t remember_.

“Sure.” Juyeon smiled, patting the top of Eric’s helmet before walking back to the bench.

The pitcher - Hwang Hyunjin - seemed a little confused but took his stance anyway, preparing himself for the throw. Eric flexed his hands and adjusted his grip on the bat, tapping it against the plate beneath his feet before lifting it over his left shoulder.

Deep breaths. Focus. Calm down.

“Ready?” Hyunjin called out.

Eric swallowed, narrowing his gaze. “Yeah!”

This time he was ready, this time, he saw it coming. This time he was quick enough to react, swung, and felt the collision.

He didn’t bother leaving his position because the ball ended up in the bleachers.

A home run.

“That’s what I’m talking about, Sohn!” Coach Davis cheered along with the rest of the team.

Eric felt the usual thrill of making his teammates happy, reveled in the feeling of his heart going crazy, smile dimming slightly when he realized his heartbeat wasn’t as erratic as to when he ran into Sangyeon the previous night.

“Don’t worry,” he said to one of the team managers that was on his way to retrieve the baseball. “I’ll get it.”

He accepted the high-five Juyeon offered on his way, along with the pats of encouragement from other team members, taking off his helmet to keep it on the bench before heading into the audience seating area.

He loved this. _This sport_. This feeling of his dreams being made a reality before his eyes. It was so wonderful, and there weren’t enough words to describe it or how happy and proud he was. So… _why did it feel less today?_

He found the ball easily enough but didn’t return to the field immediately, deciding to sit for a bit and sort through his thoughts before they got him into more trouble.

Sunwoo had faced him with a shit-eating grin when he stumbled out of bed that morning, hair dripping water into his eyes - curtsey of Sunwoo’s chosen method to wake him up. The other had been nursing a bagel and a cup of milk but looked like he was in possession of something more, and that made Eric pause for a second, sifting through his sleep drunk mind for reasons why Sunwoo looked so happy.

He’d only known the other for a week, but he was fully aware of Sunwoo’s flair for trouble.

“Good morning, _bunny_. Did you sleep well?” the redhead greeted kindly.

“Why does that feel like a trap?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Come sit, I bought bagels.”

Eric narrowed his eyes, running a hand through his hair as he sat cautiously.

“Did you have fun yesterday?” Sunwoo asked, pushing the box of pastries closer to Eric.

“Why do you care?” Eric wondered. “You left me alone.”

“But you weren’t alone, were you?”

That got Eric to stop. _Wasn’t he?_ Yes, he’d hung out with a few friends, but he moved by himself most of the night. _What was Sunwoo talking about?_

“I was… I saw Juyeon, and we hung out for a bit, but then he had to leave too so…”

“Eric, how did you get home yesterday?”

Eric blinked. _What?_

“I-”

A frown adorned his features, and he stopped, hand stilling on its way to grab their tub of cream cheese. _That’s odd_. He couldn't remember anything past leaving the stage in that cute - but _annoyingly hot_ \- bunny cape.

“You what?” Sunwoo prompted, plump lips pulled into a devilish grin.

_Oh no. What did he do? Did he leave with someone? Was he drugged?_

Sunwoo noticed his panicked expression and tsked, obviously sensing the point of his distress and deeming it useless.

“You’re no fun because you’re an idiot. Your friends dropped you off.”

Eric sighed in relief, resting a hand on his chest as if he hadn't been dramatic enough. “Oh, then that’s okay. Which ones? Let me text them and thank them.”

“A really nice guy called Jacob.” Sunwoo smiled, lifting his cup to his mouth. “And Sangyeon.”

The tub slipped past his fingers and landed on its side, spilling its contents onto the already messy table. Sunwoo seemed delighted by the occurrence, leaning forward to add a few details in an attempt to _help_ Eric connect the dots.

“Apparently, you fell asleep on his shoulder, and he had to bring you home. But then, he was worried you’d fall down the stairs or inviting yourself into our neighbor’s bed, so he had you call me to get you. You looked horrible when I got there. Like your usual sleep-zombie self. It was entertaining to watch.”

_No_. That’s not possible. It couldn't have been Sangyeon. He hadn't met the elder since-

_But it had been Sangyeon_. Eric suddenly recalled the meeting by the fountain, he remembered being terrified of being forced to attend a party he didn’t want to and the feeling of relief as Sangyeon protected him.

The feeling of his heart shattering when Sangyeon looked at him the same way he did at the fountain, eyes void of any familiarity.

“I think I’m gonna be sick,” Eric whined, slipping out of the chair to sit under the table.

“Don’t be a baby. So you embarrassed yourself in front of your childhood crush. Big deal. We’ve all been there.”

“N-No. You don’t get it. I did it again. I inconvenienced him. It’s been over a decade since we met, and he’s still so mature and responsible, and I’m still who I’ve always been. Childish, immature and-”

_A bother._

Thirteen years later, and Eric was still being a pest. How was he ever going to face him again?

He’d given all he had to get into this college. He’d practiced for hours to ensure that no one would question his skills or aspiration to be a baseball player ever again, especially _him_. He’d hoped to run into Sangyeon one day on campus, with nothing but positive traits in his possession, so the other could be proud of him.

All he’d done last night was replay the events that happened in the past, giving Sangyeon another reason to tell Eric to stay away from him.

“I blew it. He hated me then, and he hates me now.” Eric mumbled, eyes getting watering.

He heard Sunwoo sigh before joining him under the table, handing him a cup of coffee.

“Don’t be silly. He seemed pretty worried about you last night.”

“That’s just how he is. _Responsible_. And this is how I am. _A mess_.” Eric sniffed.

Sunwoo pouted and gently stroked Eric’s back. “Don’t cry. I’m sure it's nothing. You still haven't told me why you think he hated you back then.”

A few days after they’d met, Eric had been feeling particularly homesick, and Sunwoo ordered them some food, and they’d talked till 4 a.m. the next day. Eric had told his roommate about his ill-fated childhood crush. He hadn't divulged into too much detail because that day still haunted him.

He still woke up some nights, heart racing in time with the echo of shattering glass ringing in his ears, his vision filled with the blank look on the face of the boy in front of him. He remembered the angry red bruise on the right cheek of the other, he remembered feeling so sorry and so helpless.

He remembered the words, no matter how he wished he could forget them.

“It’s a long story.” he sighed into his cup of coffee.

Sunwoo peeked his head out of the space beneath the table, speaking up seconds later.

“Which you don’t have time for because you’ll be late for practice in ten minutes.”

The coffee ended up on Sunwoo, who had screamed about it endlessly while Eric got dressed and grabbed his equipment, only pausing to confirm that; “ _Yes, we’ll meet up for lunch at that pizza place we saw yesterday,_ ” and added in the vocal range he reserved for complaints and insults, “ _You’re a piece of shit, and I hope you get whacked by your own bat!_ ”

That was three hours ago.

Now Eric had recalled every single bit of what had transpired the previous night, and he still wanted to die of embarrassment. In a way, he’d felt a flood of bittersweet relief flood through him when he realized that Sangyeon didn’t remember him.

If he didn’t remember who he was, he probably wouldn't hate him, and Eric could start over. On the other hand, not remembering meant he wouldn't understand how much Eric owed him or how sorry the younger was. And now, the option to start over was gone, leaving him with nothing but ashes in place of his heart once more.

Coach Davis ended practice on an encouraging note, welcoming all the freshmen and telling them to do their best to maintain good grades so they could remain on the team, stating that all the seniors within the team were available for any form of assistance before sending them off to enjoy the rest of their weekend.

Eric quickly took a shower in the locker room and changed, eager to meet Sunwoo in hopes of diverting his attention elsewhere. Luckily, someone else filled the void before he met up with his roommate.

“That was pretty cool. Do you feel better now?” Juyeon questioned, adjusting the sleeves of his jacket.

“Some…” Eric huffed, tightening the laces of his timberlands. “I’m sorry. I’m just having a bad day.”

“Don’t be sorry for not being at your best. You’re human, it’s completely fine to have off days. Just don’t let it get you down. If there’s anything I can do to help, let me know.”

Juyeon had been kind to him, ever since Eric had stumbled onto the baseball field, overcome with nerves for his first team meeting. He’d sort of taken the younger under his wing, frequently checking up on him and ensuring that the freshman was settling in fine… as much as his sophomore schedule allowed.

Attending this college had taken Eric far away from all his friends and family, and he’d been so afraid of the loneliness that awaited him. Thankfully, between Sunwoo and Juyeon and all the other people he’d met, his worries had decreased some. Sure, they weren’t all great, but a significant number of them had been nothing but kind and helpful, and to someone almost constantly as lost as he was… they’d saved his life.

“Thank you. Really. I’ll be okay.” his stomach growled, and he added with an embarrassed chuckle. “After I eat, probably. Kinda left without breakfast this morning.”

“Don’t make that into a habit,” Juyeon scolded lightly. “Wanna have lunch with me? My treat.”

“I would, but I’m already meeting up with Sunwoo… you should join us! I’m sure he wouldn't mind.”

His roommate had met Juyeon on several occasions, and they seemed to get along well enough… if one chose to ignore Juyeon’s naivety and Sunwoo’s discovery and exploitation of that charming quality of the elder.

“Sure. Sounds like fun.” Juyeon smiled easily, prompting Eric to pull his phone out to update Sunwoo and ask where they should meet up.

Sunwoo’s reply had arrived almost immediately, simple and innocent enough, generating no suspicion from Eric.

_Cobie’s. It’s a cafe & restaurant a few blocks from our dorm. They have amazing meals._

It sounded like a good way to add a new meal place to their list - considering neither he nor Sunwoo could do much besides boil water for cup ramen, a simple delicacy that was becoming a growing concern to Eric’s mom. And so, he texted back a quick ‘ _sure’_ and set off with Juyeon, who knew exactly where it was.

In hindsight… he probably should’ve been cautious.

**

Kevin could feel a section of his work literally tug at his attention, the lighter patch of color shifting his mind to face its needs and not that of the person next to him or those behind the camera in front of him.

It was easy to figure out exactly what the piece needed, and in four seconds and a few taps of the stylus against his tablet, the picture looked so much brighter - more likely to convince his client that they weren’t dealing with an amateur.

“Would you look at this? I said no work, and you’re disobeying me! It’s only been twenty minutes!”

At the sound of Chanhee’s displeased voice, Kevin quickly saved the edit and turned off the screen.

“I’m not working, though.”

Chanhee narrowed his eyes at him and turned back to his phone, which they were using to host an Instagram live. “A boldfaced liar, this one. _I saw you!_ ”

It’s a little cute how easily Chanhee overreacts, and Kevin has no problem saying so, grinning when the other’s response is to shove a fry in his face, cheeks pink.

“Kevin is a super busy art student, and he also takes commission requests. It wasn’t easy to get him to do this with me. I literally had to beg-”

“You’ve never begged for anything _in your life_.” Kevin scoffed, running a hand through his hair. “You don’t even know what that word means.”

“What - I do!”

Kevin made eye contact with the camera. “Do you want to know how he _begged_ me to do this with him? He stormed into my room at five in the morning, told me about his plans for the day, and said, ‘ _oh, by the way, I want to do a live in the afternoon, and I want you in it._ ’ Then, he texted me every hour to remind me. I was scared that if I didn’t show up, I wouldn't live much longer after that.”

“Hey! Don’t make it seem like you were pressured into doing this!” Chanhee protested with a laugh.

“Wasn’t I, though?” Kevin queried good-naturedly.

“You’re my roommate. If I don’t do this with you, who would I do it with?”

“Well…”

“Don’t finish that statement. It never ends well when I give you such opportunities to make me look bad.” Chanhee sniffed, frowning when he noticed something sticking out of the dent left by the bite he’d just taken out of his burger.

Kevin caught on quickly and gingerly lifted the bun, using a fork to pick up tomatoes' slices and place them on his own plate.

“You took one bite. Stop acting like you ate a whole bowlful of it.” Kevin rolled his eyes, only half-mocking.

“Every day, in every way, I am torn between appreciating you and hating you,” Chanhee stated emotionally, taking a sip of his latte.

“I love you too, babe.”

Kevin’s life never seemed to stick in one particular setting, constantly shifting through the storms that seemed to wreck it. The only factor that seemed to stick was Chanhee.

The other had latched onto him in middle school and they sort of adopted each other, proving strength whenever the other had been caught in a moment of weakness. Their relationship was comfortable, dependent, and priceless to Kevin… although lately, he’d been craving for more, a feeling he knew Chanhee understood all too well even if they hadn't talked about it.

Chanhee had chosen not to respond, suggesting they look at some of the comments instead. Kevin agreed - still in the mood to tease the other - and picked a question that seemed likely to be from a new fan or someone who had decided to ignore their response to questions like these.

“ _Are you two dating? You’re so cute!_ ” he quoted, grinning easily.

Chanhee ran a hand through his pink hair, groaning in frustration. “Of all the questions, why-”

“It was the first one I saw. Hush.” Kevin nudged him silent and continued. “First of all, thank you so much! I mean, Chanhee has enough looks for the both of us-”

“Please stop.”

“- I just work here. And we’re not dating, no… but we’re practically married. Does that count?”

“I will smother you in your sleep.” Chanhee promised.

Kevin raised his hands in feign defeat. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry. We’re not a couple.” he wrapped an arm around his pouting roommate. “He’s very single and wouldn’t mind taking a look at a few boyfriend applications.”

“Kevin!”

“Okay! I’ll look at them for him. Dm me at KevinMoon98. Don’t you just want a piece of this?” Kevin queried, placing his hands on either side of Chanhee’s face.

“I hate you. So much.” Chanhee mumbled, red with embarrassment and frustration.

“Okay, I’ll stop.” Kevin laughed, pulling away after gently bumping his forehead against Chanhee’s. “Ask us anything else, please. For those of you who don’t know - new fans, what’s up? - I’m an artist/struggling college art student, and Chanhee is a model, fashion blogger, and a budding college student studying fashion design.”

“Why must you always overstate details in my introduction? You sound like a car salesman.” Chanhee complained, dipping a fry in ketchup.

“Because you’re perfect? Everything I want to be? The love of my life?”

“You have a class in an hour, and you’ve barely eaten. Eat, I’ll handle the questions.” Chanhee offered, not giving Kevin a chance to answer before shifting the phone, so the other was out of the frame.

“Mean.” Kevin pouted, picking up his burger.

“You don’t even know, mean. Mean is what’s waiting for you if I see even a fry left in the next twenty minutes.” Chanhee promised innocently before focusing his attention on the comments scrolling on the screen, answering the first that caught his attention. “I really don’t think I’m being hard on him at all. Kevin is like… an energetic five-year-old. If you don’t keep an eye on him every second of the day, you’ll turn around one moment and the next, he’s drawn all over the walls, shaved the cat, and set the kitchen on fire.” 

“Damn. I must be one heck of a five-year-old.” Kevin muttered with his mouth full, reaching for his smoothie, adding after a sip. “Changmin says that too. Only he’s less… creative about his analogies.”

“He’s not easy to deal with, either. He doesn’t have the right to point fingers at you.” Chanhee rolled his eyes, reaching for a napkin.

“I bet he’s somewhere shivering, swearing that we’re talking about him.” Kevin snickered.

The live went on for another half hour, most of it consisting of Chanhee answering a couple of beauty and work questions and Kevin doing his best to eat most of his lunch, fully aware that his roommate wouldn't let him out of his sight if he didn’t do that much.

It was odd how much of a norm it was, talking about themselves in front of Chanhee’s fans - whom he’d acquired from his modeling career, introduced to Kevin, who was immediately adopted by the adoring masses - but Kevin was thankful regardless. At the very least, for the distraction, it provided for the time being.

“Okay, we need to go. Kevin has a fixed lesson - totally optional because the professor is simply trying to make up for the class he had to cancel earlier in the week-”

“It’s a makeup class. It’s just as important.”

“It’s Saturday. What it is, is sacrilegious.”

“What you are is ridiculous.” Kevin taunted, making kissy faces at the other, dodging with a grin as Chanhee swatted at him.

“Anyways!” the pink-haired boy glared. “He’s gonna leave me alone to attend some boring lecture. I’m gonna try catching up on some sleep.”

“You could call Changmin,” Kevin suggested, packing up his bag.

“For a nap? What makes you think that will end with either of us actually lying down?”

“No, you dope for company. If sleep is the plan, call Juyeon. Let him bore you to death with his baseball facts.”

“Good idea! I’ll do that.” Chanhee paused, then tried to refute, waving his arms. “Not that there’s anything wrong with baseball or our school’s team. Go Castle Clovers! It’s just… Juyeon and trivia make an interesting combination that makes me sleepy. It’s been a blast hanging out with you guys. Don’t forget to subscribe to my blog to keep up with my work and school stuff. Maybe next time, we’ll do this with the whole gang?”

Kevin silently gave a thumbs-up, and Chanhee nodded.

“In the meantime, stay safe, make good choices, live long, loud, and lovingly. Enjoy the rest of your day!”

A few seconds later, a message popped up on Chanhee’s screen, stating that the live had ended, and he exited the app, opting to check his messages for any he might’ve missed during it.

“Oh, Kevin, you need to go. It’s nearly two.”

“The class is for two twenty, though,” Kevin mumbled, finally seeing Chanhee’s about skipping, hazy from the food coma.

“It’s going to take you at least fifteen minutes to get there, though. It’s on the other side of campus.” Chanhee pointed out, gathering the scraps from their table.

Kevin blinked blearily at his watch, then glanced at his surroundings, nearly falling off the bench in his haste to stand.

“Will you take a taxi?” Chanhee enquired, handing Kevin his phone.

“Didn’t call one. Can't wait!” he shoved his phone into his pocket and slung his backpack over his shoulders.

“Okay. Be careful, don’t fall on your way.” Chanhee chided, wrinkling his nose when Kevin placed a wet kiss on his cheek before running off.

Now meters away from the garden they had lunch in, Kevin realized that he had more than one problem - the other attributing to his appearance. As he turned down another cobblestone sidewalk and ran his hand through his black messy hair, he swore at its annoying length, nearly crying in frustration when remembered the rather colorful threats Chanhee had made if he even considered getting it cut.

This is what he got for giving his best friend a blank oath for his birthday. Definitely won't be making that mistake again.

Briefly, the idea of skipping seemed appealing, but he was already almost there… and suffering through a possibly boring lecture was in some ways better than letting Chanhee think he was right. He loved the other _so much_ , but it was never a good idea to give him so many reasons to remind Kevin of his less than proud moments.

With that wonderful bout of encouragement, Kevin pushed forward, determined to arrive with at least three minutes to spare and utilize in going over this week’s commission project.

Armed with good vibes, a brisk pace, and nothing but absolute hate for the length of his damn hair - _that wouldn't stop getting into my damn eyes_ \- he proceeded… _right into an unsuspecting person_.

The bump had been unexpected, the fall even more so, and that’s why when Kevin found himself on his ass in front of a very, very, _very_ good looking boy, he couldn't seem to get a handle on his basic senses.

There was no way they hadn't suffered some sort of damage when he fell. Why else could he only hear the sound of his heart beating? Why did the person in front of him seem to shine? Why could he suddenly smell marshmallows and coffee? And why the hell was his tongue frozen?

Apparently, the other person was concerned for Kevin’s state of well-being as well, eyes widening as he shifted to help the silent, motionless boy up, worry practically bleeding through him.

“Oh my goodness - I’m sorry. I was in such a rush, and I wasn’t paying enough attention to my surroundings. Are you okay?”

Kevin blinked, doing his hardest to ignore the warmth seeping into his skin from where the other was holding onto his arms, trying to form some coherent form of speech. That on its own seemed like an impossible mission, with how the boy was staring at him with _honest to God tears in his_ -

“I’m fine.” Kevin croaked, wincing at how he sounded and clearing his throat as he put some distance between the both of them. “I-I’m fine. Really. I’m pretty… indestructible. With so many trips down the stairs, bicycle accidents, and other misfortunes, it's a wonder how I’m still standing, but I am. My mom is eternally grateful for my blessed life, and my best friend calls me a hazard. It’s a… norm.”

The boy blinked, and Kevin wished he could go back to being dumb. At least the possible outcome would be better than the death he was planning on obtaining once this was over.

A giggle caught his attention, and he glanced up, heart slamming into his chest as the guy placed a hand over his mouth, eyes still watering as he shook slightly in mirth.

“I’m sorry - I just… I’m glad too. That you’re… Indestructible. Are you sure you’re fine? No cuts or bruises?”

“No damage to anything except maybe my dignity. Except I haven't really seen that in roughly… a decade, so you’re good.”

The boy literally bent over, blonde hair shaking in shiny waves as he laughed, seemingly not completely weirded out by Kevin’s odd taste in humor.

“And,” Kevin added in an attempt not to look like a wise-cracking jerk when he noticed a few small cardboard boxes scattered around them. “I’m the one who should be apologizing. I was in too much of a hurry, and paying attention isn’t a grace I was born with. More like something, I stumble upon by chance.”

“It’s okay. I’m okay, you’re okay. We’re good.” blondie grinned easily, dropping down to retrieve his packages. “I’m Jacob, and I am a little distracted most of the time too.”

_Jacob. Just as precious as his name._

“Kevin. Let me help you with those.” Kevin offered, picking up a few packages as well.

“Oh, you don’t have to. Don’t you need to get somewhere?”

_Oh. Right._

Jacob was right, but he was also something that Kevin couldn't simply walk away from. Not when he practically glowed in that white oversized hoodie, looking like an absolute angel while Kevin felt unworthy in his black sweatshirt and a mop of maniac, black curls sitting atop his head.

“It can wait. It’s… not important.” Kevin decided, arranging the packages neatly so he could transport them to wherever Jacob needed them to go. “Which way are you going?”

“You don’t have to-”

“Nope. The only way these are leaving my clutches is when I’ve dropped you off safely at your destination. I don’t want you bumping into anyone else.”

_Kevin, please, please, think before you talk._

With a sigh of regret, Kevin pursed his lips and looked up to the sky, waiting for the other to grab his things from his hold and leave. What he did not expect was for Jacob to bump his shoulder against Kevin’s playfully, cheeks pink as he softly spoke.

“Thank you. I’d… I’d like your help. It was sort of troublesome transporting all of them myself anyways.”

Kevin’s smile in response was as easy as it was honest, drawing from way too many emotions at once.

“Well then, I’m glad to help.”

Twenty minutes later, Kevin fell face-first onto Chanhee’s bed, startling the other and cutting off the conversation he was currently having with Changmin via video call.

“ _What the_ \- shouldn’t you be in class?” Chanhee sputtered in surprise, groaning when Kevin wrapped his limbs around him.

“Decided to skip.”

“Why?” Changmin questioned, leaning out of the frame for a moment to grab something.

“I need to re-evaluate my life choices.”

Chanhee paused, shooting Changmin a look of confusion as he comfortingly patted Kevin’s back. Changmin, however, understood the situation instantly.

“What’s his name, Keb?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Changmin. I saw him less than an hour ago. When would he have-”

“His name is Jacob. He smells like marshmallows and coffee. His eyes are the most… breathtaking shade of brown. And he’s a _literal_ angel.”

Changmin nodded. “I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

**

Jacob rushed through the back door, trying to slip into work-mode, failing as the image of his dark-haired helper flashed through his mind. Feeling faint, he sank to the floor, drew his knees up, and buried his face in his hands.

He knew practically everyone on campus - a perk of being an owner of one of the most successful restaurant & cafe in the vicinity. But somehow… he’d never met that boy.

That odd, sweet… _gorgeous boy_.

He inhaled deeply, begging his nerves to relax with every ounce of desperation he could muster, hoping he could hold it together long enough to last through his five-hour shift.

“Jacob? Oh, thank God you’re here. I was starting to get worried when you didn’t show up-” Hyunjae hesitated, taking in the sight of his friend and boss seated on the floor of the kitchen. “Are you okay there?”

“Not exactly.” Jacob sighed, rising to his feet. “But I will be. I’m sorry, I was late.”

Hyunjae waved a hand dismissively. “You weren’t, technically. It’s just that you always arrive half an hour early for your shift, and I needed to leave soon if I want to catch up with the guys.”

“Of course. I’m sorry, Jae.” Jacob shook his head, hoping it would gain him some clarity.

“It’s fine! Are you sure you’re good?”

The sound of the front door opened forced Jacob to grip his mental health to deal with matters that required immediate attention and spare the hopeless pinning for later.

“That must be my first customer. You can leave. Have a fun weekend!” Jacob smiled, putting on an apron.

Hyunjae wasn’t convinced, but Jacob wasn’t in tears, so things might not be as concerning as they had appeared.

“You too, Cobie. Tell Younghoon and Sangyeon I said hi.”

Jacob waved as Hyunjae left, rushing to the counter at the front of the cafe to attended to his customers, sighing in relief at the sight of only three people.

“Welcome to Cobie’s restaurant and cafe. What can I… oh, _hello, Eric_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> How are you? How’s your week been? I am really so sorry it’s taken me this long to update. I’ve been having minor health issues that managed to distract me most of this week, even though I’d written more than half the chapter during the week. But I was determined not to let it go beyond this week and well… here it is.
> 
> I really hope you like it. As much as I wanted this fic to be longer than the other, I still don’t want it too long, so I can manage it properly. I might post a different story while it's still ongoing (a one-shot or something with two chapters), just to keep you guys entertained while this one proceeds. Please let me know what you think in the comments or on Twitter. Someone sent me a kind tweet that practically made my entire week and helped motivate me to finish this chapter and it means the world to me that someone took the time out to do that. If you like the story, please leave a kudos, comment, bookmark, and subscribe so you'll know when I update and share. If you have any questions, feel free to submit them in the comments or on Twitter. I’ll do my best to answer them to the best of my ability, without giving any spoilers.
> 
> I might not know you guys personally, but I am so thankful to you, for taking out the time to read this work of mine. I can only hope I can bring you more stuff, better stories in the future.
> 
> Have a wonderful weekend, stan The Boyz, and be happy!
> 
> P.S: This was supposed to be posted last week but it wasn’t, so I’m a little late. Happy birthday to our kind and soft leader Sangyeon and our cheerful and talented Changmin. I pray for more success, joy, and wonder in their life. Amen. 
> 
> I’m on twitter @byeolsaenggak_


	3. Chapter 3

Maybe if it were a different circumstance, Eric would've marveled at how quickly the flood of panic overtook him. Maybe if things had been different, he would've said " _Hi. Bye._ " and walked away freely.

Sadly, the universe had other plans and was determined on carrying them out through his demon roommate, _Sunwoo_ — who grabbed Eric's arm and hauled him forward, closer to the counter and Jacob.

"Hi, Jacob. It's nice to see you again." Sunwoo grinned in his usual disarming way that led people to believe he was the representation of all things good and pure and nothing like the actual devil spawn that he was.

Jacob — _bless his sweet, poor soul_ — seemed to buy into the ridiculous charade, easily smiling back.

"Sunwoo, right? Eric's roommate. I'm glad I got to see you again as well. What can I do for you? "

Eric chose that moment to speak up. " _Shoot me_."

Sunwoo had no qualms with hitting him in public, ignoring Juyeon's startled stare as he spoke.

"We're actually here for lunch. We wanted to get a few drinks before heading upstairs for our meal. But before that... Could you please tell my idiotic baby of a roommate that no one is mad at him for falling asleep on his—"

Eric decided that it was a good a time as any to retaliate, elbowing Sunwoo in the torso and wrenching himself free, nearly propelling himself over the counter in the process. Jacob watched the fuss with an expression of mild amusement that turned sympathetic when he noticed the distress in Eric's eyes.

"I'm really, _really_ sorry. About last night. It was kind of hectic and I had a lot of stuff to do before then and I just... I'm sorry that I caused you trouble. You and Sangyeon both. I'll leave now and you'll never have to see me again—"

"Whoa, slow down _sweetheart_." Jacob cut him off hastily. "I think you're overreacting a little bit. You fell asleep on him. You didn't set his hair on fire or punch him in the face. And he told me what happened before that. The plan had always been to take you home. We just had to do it with you asleep and barely functioning."

Eric groaned and dropped his head on the top of the counter, heart gratefully receiving the affection when Jacob gently patted his hair.

"I understand how you feel and I know what you must think, but I assure you that it's fine. Really. I'm not mad and neither is Sangyeon. If anything, he was a little worried about you."

_What?_

Eric's head shot up so fast, startling Jacob who jumped slightly at the sudden movement, smiling a little when Eric asked, "He's worried about me? _Not mad_?"

The elder nodded. "He called me earlier and you _might've_ come up in our conversation. He wondered if you were okay since you were pretty out of it last night. I'm glad I was able to run into you and personally confirm your well-being."

_Sangyeon had thought about him. Wow._

"Told you it was fine. Can we order our drinks now?" Sunwoo rolled his eyes at Eric.

"Sure! What would you like?" Jacob immediately beamed, shifting his attention from Eric after patting the other's head again.

Eric could hardly believe it, but there were few reasons to doubt Jacob who was also a part of his mess, so he was left with very few options but to accept what he’d been told and hope it was enough.

“Eric?”

The youngest boy blinked, glancing around the area only to find out that he’d been deserted by both of his friends. Jacob gently placed a cup in front of him and balanced a black straw on top of it.

“Sunwoo placed your order for you and told me to tell you he’d do the same for you in the restaurant. You can join them when you feel up to it.”

With a sigh, Eric climbed onto the stool he was gestured towards, inserting the straw into the opening at the top of the cup and using it to stir his drink. Jacob watched him for a bit and commented casually, clearing up the counter.

“Something tells me you’re stressing over a lot more than falling asleep in public. Wanna talk about it?”

That had always been the problem for Eric. It was constantly different to want something and to carry it out. Nothing ever went his way. _Not last night, not ten years ago_.

“Have… Have you ever wanted something so badly, you did all you could to get it? You made huge plans and gave your best to make sure things went perfectly…” his light tone fizzled out and he slumped in his seat. “Only to mess up and ruin everything last minute. Do you know what that’s like?”

“I think I understand what you mean,” Jacob assured kindly.

“How do I fix it?”

“Why would you want to? Just because it doesn't look like what you wanted or prepared for, doesn't mean everything is doomed. Different doesn’t always mean bad. It just means you’ll have to take another route to get your goal and things might end up better than you originally anticipated.”

Eric frowned, taking a sip of his drink, cheering up slightly once the smooth taste of vanilla washed over his tongue.

“If this is about Sangyeon, remember that he’s like you and me. A regular person, who isn’t going to hold a grudge against you for something so small.” Jacob added, wiping down the white marble countertop.

_That would be true, except-_

“That’s the thing. He’s as irregular as they come. And last night wasn’t the only mistake I’ve made.” Eric let slip, a little tired of the weight in his mind.

A warm hand held onto one of his and squeezed lightly and the boy looked up into the knowing brown eyes that said they understood him, that they knew of his plight and had an idea on how to move past it.

“Maybe it’s time you forgave yourself and moved on.”

For Eric, it felt impossible but he managed, choosing to dwell on other things than a name that made his heart hurt and eyes that couldn't recall his face, focusing on maintaining his outstanding academic performance and keeping up with his sports team.

_And it worked._ Although it was still early into the semester, things looked promising because none of his classes posed any challenge and he seemed to be getting _faster_ and _stronger_. He made a lot of friends, both on and off the field, and more or less, he was happy and at peace.

_What wonderful two weeks those were._

Then he bumped into someone on his way back to his dorm after a pointless one-hour research fest for an assignment he’d assumed was to be submitted the next day when in fact it was due next week.

“Oh, I’m sorry-”

“You never really pay attention when you walk, do you?”

He froze, tightening his grip on the strap of the bag that hung over his shoulder, using that to ground him as his heart rate picked up so fast, for a brief second, all he could hear was the blood rushing in his ears.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated, unable to do much else.

“You already said that.”

Eric swallowed, glancing behind the elder, alarmed to find out that they were alone on the sidewalk and running away would not only be _unnecessary_ , but _very stupid._

“I don’t know what else to say,” he confessed, finally looking at the other.

Sangyeon stepped closer, folding his arms with an unreadable expression.

“How about you start from why you didn’t tell me you knew who I was when we met?”

* * *

Chanhee held his breath reflexively as the stylist picked up a can of hair spray, placing a hand over the top half of his face in a bid to shield his eyes as she applied the hair product to his hair. Seconds later, she returned it to stand along with the countless hair and makeup items on the station, satisfied with the sheen and volume his pink hair held, and informed him she was done.

"Thank you," he smiled, rising and stepping away from the preparation area in search of a spot where he could rest without bothering anyone until it was his turn to shoot.

It was the last one of the week and he was eager to put all the makeup, flashing lights, and hot clothes behind him and spend some quality resting time at home... Even if he practically lived with a breathing, _whining ball of stress_.

Ever since Kevin ran into " _the angel_ ", it was all the other could talk about — _which was fine_ , as they had both expressed their interest in dating. Those admissions might involved some beer, chicken, and Changmin crying about his pending divorce with his Annabelle doll.

Chanhee loved Kevin. He always will, as much as one can treasure a friend who they couldn't imagine life without. But if the other didn't shut up soon, Chanhee might just wring his neck.

Kevin had a crush. That's fine, cute, _whatever_. The problem was he was talking about it constantly and doing absolutely nothing about it.

"I don't get it." Chanhee mused out loud one morning. "You know where he works. What's stopping you from going to see him? Flirting? _Asking him out?!_ "

It was so infuriating because Chanhee had always been a _seize the day_ kind of person and there was Kevin, presented with something that could possibly be real and he was determined to flunk it like it was a sequel of tenth-grade chemistry.

“Of course you don’t get it,” had been Kevin’s distracted reply as he moved his stylus in short, slow motions, sketching something he had told Chanhee - who, _by the way_ , hadn't asked - was inspired by a dream he’d had about Jacob’s eyes. “You weren’t the one who stood in front of him. He’s… _literally_ the most _perfect being_ I’ve ever seen.”

“Fitting, considering that you’re the most _pathetic being_ I’ve ever seen.”

“Don’t you have a class to get to?”

“Why? So you can keep thinking about your dream boy - thoughts you’re planning to act on maybe _never_ \- and then end up running to your first lesson of the day because you spent all your time doing nothing but moping?”

“... Maybe.”

“Ridiculous.”

Eventually, Chanhee realized his irritation with Kevin came less from his stalling tactics, but more from the excuses he told himself to keep him from going after someone he clearly wanted.

Lies that said he wasn’t special, that he didn’t deserve someone he claimed was the epitome of good. As if he wasn’t aware of how unique he was himself or of the fact that Chanhee had looked up to him during their childhood, desiring his charisma, bluntness, and courage.

_The annoying piece of crap._

“Hey, is it okay if I sit here?”

Chanhee blinked and glanced up at the owner of the voice that had cut through his cloud of thoughts, staring up at a tall, dark-haired stranger.

“Um…”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did I bother you?”

Chanhee shook his head quickly, shifting slightly to make room for the other. “No, you didn’t… it’s just a little surprising that someone else found this spot.”

The couch was mostly hidden behind racks of various articles of clothing, almost completely cut off from the hustle and bustle of models, stylists, and makeup artists, with the echoing orders of the directors and photographers barely reaching that place.

The guy grinned and sat down, tilting his head to whisper to Chanhee.

“There’s always one at every shoot, isn’t there? A little corner hidden behind tons of clothes, far enough from the hot lights and toxic air. Cozy enough to protect an exhausted model.” he paused, smirking slightly. “Or two.”

Chanhee was well-versed with such forms of conversations and had no issue expressing his disinterest in where it might be going.

“I guess so.” he shrugged, pulling out his phone and turning it on.

The other cleared his throat awkwardly and Chanhee almost felt bad, thinking he might’ve read the signs wrong and the other was simply attempting to carry on a casual conversation.

“Are you also here for the Generation Z project?”

Chanhee glanced at him and nodded, pulling up the _98z_ group chat - of which himself, Kevin, Juyeon, and Changmin were its members - to ask if Changmin would be willing to grab a coffee after his shoot and if the others wanted anything brought to them since they had classes.

“I thought you might be. We match.”

At that bit of information, Chanhee did look up, taking in the identical white t-shirt and blue jeans combo they were wearing - although Chanhee was in a pair of jean shorts.

“Oh. Is this your last shoot as well?”

“First, actually. The stylist still needed a few pieces for my shoot, so they suggested I do the interview first.” the other rubbed his palms on his pants. “What’s it like? Being a part of something so different and exposing? To be honest... I’m an acting major and I don’t really model unless it’s a favor to a friend. One of my professors suggested I give this a shot but… I don’t know how I feel about telling a stranger my flaws to have them aired for the world to see.”

The guy seemed nervous, if not a little scared and Chanhee could never walk away from people who needed his help. He’d been in situations like those too many times to count, abandoned to his fate and he swore never to do the same to anyone else.

“Actually… I was scared too. As you said, it involves you revealing a deep, unflattering truth about yourself, which will later be uploaded on the internet. But, focusing on that takes away the true idea behind the concept.”

The boy frowned, sitting back. “Which is?”

“We were given a chance to be ourselves. This is your first day and since you’re having the interview first and I haven't done that, I can't tell you much about it. But the photoshoot wasn’t like anything I’ve done before. And I’ve done plenty. They told me to think of what I wanted to reveal and use it to guide my body into poses that told the truth about me. It was… freeing. Although I could’ve done without the extra hour it took me to wash all the confetti off.”

His new acquaintance laughed a little and a feeling of warmth spread through Chanhee’s chest and he chalked it up to being pleased with being able to cheer someone up.

“I would’ve liked to see that. Not you showering - I meant covered in confetti! I swear I was just trying to say that you probably looked adorable and glittery and your eyes are pretty… I’ll stop.” the red-faced boy grumbled, dropping his face into his hands.

“Well,” Chanhee started, trying not to laugh at the little display of cuteness he just witnessed. “They will be uploading the general video of all the models next week. So you get to see me rolling around in sparkly bits of paper for what looks like two minutes but actually took nearly an hour.”

“Are you always this cynical about the processes and hazards of your occupation?”

“Only when I’m at my limit. I cannot wait for this day to end. I might sleep for ten hours.”

“What? Not a party person?”

“Not unless I need to be,” Chanhee mumbled, peering down at his phone, smiling a little when he noticed Changmin had replied, stating that he wouldn't mind picking Chanhee up from his shoot and they could get the drinks together.

“Could’ve fooled me. You have a sort of… _faerie-like_ charisma that tells me you like to dance.”

“Maybe I do.” Chanhee grinned coyly, replying to Kevin’s request for his usual coffee to please be brought to him at the library where he was trying to wrap up an assignment he had requested an extension on. _Twice_.

“I’m Younghoon, by the way. We’ve been talking for a while and neither of us has introduced ourselves. I thought I should take the initiative… in case I get to see you again.”

At those words, Chanhee felt his gaze rise from the screen of his phone, where he’d been typing out a question that was most likely to ask Kevin if he had eaten and what they could buy for him if the answer was no, mind going blank when his eyes met Younghoon’s.

“Was I too forward?” Younghoon asked softly, eyes fixed on Chanhee’s as if searching for the truth about his identity.

Chanhee swallowed, trying not to get lost in the mysterious gaze that portrayed innocence, and yet hid so much. Chanhee knew a lot of fake people and something about Younghoon wanted him to remain guarded and keep his distance.

Then again, it could be one of his flaws speaking.

“I’m-”

“Chanhee! There you are! It’s your turn to get interviewed.” a head popped out from the mass of multicolored fabrics, seeming frazzled and at the same time revealed at the sight of the two boys.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize-”

“It’s fine!” she grunted, trying to make her way to him but failing due to the numerous racks that stood in her way. “Could you - Can you come help me out so we can get you to the set? How did you even get all the way back there?!”

He locked his phone and rose to his feet, sparing Younghoon the tiniest glance. “Practice. Just stay still and hopefully, you won't get a cloth hanger caught in your nose like the other person.”

“What?!”

Younghoon let out another hearty laugh and Chanhee permitted himself to smile a bit as he moved to his agent, resisting the urge to turn around, staying strong until he was seated in front of the camera and the red light told him that it was time to focus on the task at hand.

All it took was a deep breath to clear his mind and calm his heart. A moment later, he was ready.

“... I think I’m a special person, yet I’m also a very sensitive one. I’m very sensitive and… I don’t want to be.”

_That was his truth._ Maybe if he let it out, it would help him and he could help Kevin too.

It was over in less than ten minutes and admittedly, as he stepped off the stool, he felt lighter than when he first walked in. Politely, he thanked the designer, the photographer, and other members of the staff around for the opportunity to work with them and changed back into his own clothes.

Instinctively, he returned to the hidden resting spot, stifling the disappointment he felt when he found the space void of human presence.

“Maybe he’s being interviewed…” he muttered, briefly considering heading back to the set to catch a glimpse of Younghoon, maybe get a few clues to who he really was.

The idea had barely taken shape when his phone buzzed in his bag and he quickly reached for it.

_Q - i’m outside. are you done?_

Chanhee bit his lip, making another choice that a feeling of unease to resonate within his body, just like when he’d decided to walk away from Younghoon, with the words “ _Good luck,”_ suffocating him from where they sat in his throat.

_New - I’m on my way._

In his true, ever unpredictable fashion, Changmin swept Chanhee up into his arms and spun him around a little, grinning excitedly. “Hi babe.”

“I will burn your Chucky doll if you do not put me down right now,” Chanhee mumbled under his breath, cheeks burning bright red.

“What, I’m not allowed to be happy to see my best friend?”

“I saw you this morning when you kindly decided to wake me up at 4 a.m. to work out with you after I expressly said that I wanted to sleep till 8 since I had no morning classes.”

“Do you regret not coming with me?”

“I regret not smothering you to death the first time you slept over. So many frustrating and embarrassing moments could’ve been avoided.”

Changmin gawked, elaborately putting on an overdramatic expression of hurt and disbelief.

“And to think I was going to pay for our drinks because I just cashed in my paycheck.”

Chanhee rolled his eyes, pulling the other in the direction of his favorite cafe. “You can't buy me with coffee. Have you learned nothing from my dealings with Kevin?”

“Is that what you call your cute _I hate you but I love you and that’s why we’re married and I’m pushing you to get a boyfriend who can hopefully get you to fucking sleep_ thing? Because that sucks and no, I wasn’t just going to buy you coffee. You’ve had a long week and I wanted to get you lunch.”

“I’m going to ignore everything you said before that-”

“Because I’m right?”

“Because you’re an idiot.”

“Who is going to buy you whatever you want.”

That got Chanhee to stop. “Whatever I want?”

“Um-hmm.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“You can doubt me on the way to Cobie’s.” Changmin sang, gently wrapping an arm around Chanhee’s shoulder and steering him in the opposite direction.

“What’s Cobie’s? Where are we going?”

“You’ll see.”

Chanhee didn’t see much - except his annoyance and frustration levels spiking after Changmin stopped five times to say _hi_ to people from his dance classes and a couple of his Instagram followers stopped to ask him for selfies - ready to hit Changmin for making him walk for twenty minutes in the sun when he could’ve been sipping on a cool drink somewhere.

Begrudgingly, he stepped through the doors after Changmin opened them for him and gestured to the clean space with white and sky blue booths and couches arranged in a way that gave off a homey feel.

“See a familiar face?” Changmin prompted, elbowing Chanhee a little.

Chanhee retaliated by pinching him, but still scanned the room, freezing slightly when he spotted a familiar face peering down at the phone in his hands.

_Younghoon_. What were the odds-

“What are you - over there! The guy behind the counter that’s causing people to trip over themselves like the bumbling clown you live with.” Changmin instructed in a tone laced with exasperation as he turned Chanhee’s face to look in the direction of the counter.

There was a guy serving coffee, cereal, and smiles, eyes twinkling excitedly from behind his blonde bangs, draped in a blue fuzzy sweater which only further contributed to his cuddly image.

“Is that-”

“Kevin’s angel? Yup. Found him pretty easily after Kevin told us his name and where he works. Turns out he owns the place with his brother Jeff. There’s a restaurant upstairs where I’ll treat you to lunch and we’ll get the other guys their drinks. I thought we could do some matchmaking - y’know, to see if the angel is even a little bit nuts about our psycho.”

“I don’t appreciate you calling Kevin names. That’s my thing.”

“Yes, kitty.”

“I will bite you, I swear. I don’t care that we’re in public.”

“But I’m buying you pasta.” Changmin blinked pitifully.

“Doesn’t give you leverage to do whatever you want. But… thank you. For finding Jacob. I was really starting to lose my mind over how much Kevin kept ranting about him.”

“So let’s talk to him! Find out if Kevin has a chance.”

Chanhee glanced at the lone figure sitting in a booth before he said. “Can you give me a minute? I saw a friend and I want to speak to him for a second.”

“Sure. I’ll just browse their menu options while I wait. Make it quick though,” Changmin sighed and skipped away happily, Jacob smiling automatically at the sight of an excited customer.

Chanhee inhaled deeply and turned, stepping towards Younghoon with a hand lifted to gently call his attention, freezing when a girl threw herself onto him with a loud cry of “Baby!”

Younghoon’s face lit up and stilled as his eyes met Chanhee’s and briefly, Chanhee wondered what was happening if he was wrong and if once again, he needed to shield himself from possible pain.

All his questions were answered the moment Younghoon shifted his gaze down to the person in his arms, dismissing Chanhee’s existence from the list of his concerns. Although he was right, it didn’t hurt any less but if there was one thing Chanhee was good at, it was masking his emotions.

So he pulled his shoulders back, lifted his chin, and spun around on his heel, heading straight to the counter, speaking clearly to catch Jacob’s attention from where it had been in the laughing fest he was engaging in with Changmin.

“Hiya, angel,”

“-What-”

“I’m sorry if I sound rude, but I’m asking for a friend who’s on the brink of insanity because he’s trying to sort through his possible feelings for you, but are you single?”

Jacob blinked and nodded shyly, cheeks turning pink.

“Okay, good. Another question; do you remember meeting a clumsy doofus with black curly hair about… two weeks ago?”

The blonde paused, then his eyes widened in realization and the color in his cheeks intensified and he leaned forward, startling both Chanhee and Changmin.

“Kevin? You’re talking about Kevin, right?”

“Oh! He remembers Keb. Isn’t that nice?” Changmin wondered coyly, grinning like a fox about to devour a bunny.

Jacob averted his eyes to the top of his spotless, white marble counter, nodding a little.

“Yeah… he was… nice to me. And funny.”

Chanhee and Changmin snorted simultaneously, sharing a knowing look. It was Changmin who boldly enquired,

“Do you want his number? Not to air his dirty laundry, but he talks about you a lot, and nothing we say will convince him to try and see you again. He’s determined to wait for fate. Or something else as time-consuming. You don’t have forever do you?”

Chanhee sighed, too used to Changmin’s lack of tact, while Jacob let out an embarrassed giggle.

“I don’t think I do. But… what if he doesn’t… what if he doesn’t want to see me again? What do I even say to him when I get his number?”

Chanhee was really tired and he just needed one good thing to take home with him so he could sleep easy that night.

“I promise you, he does want to see you. He’s just a lil’ nervous and he has a habit of overthinking unnecessarily. As for what you could say to him… do you want to see him again? I need to know for sure that Kevin won't get hurt if I do this. I just want him to be happy.”

Jacob nodded in understanding and spoke softly. “I don’t really know Kevin, but I’d really like a chance to do just that. I’m not perfect, but I’d never hurt anyone if I can help it. I want to at least make him a drink to say thanks. He ran out before I could offer one last time.”

“Classic Kevin,” Changmin shook his head fondly.

“Okay. Start from there and trust me, you won't have to do anything else. I’ll give you his number. He’s pretty busy for the rest of the day, so you should text him sometime after 9 p.m. Think you can wait that long?” Chanhee teased, desperately wishing his decisions wouldn't come back to bite him in the ass.

“I’ll try,” Jacob beamed, holding out his phone.

Chanhee collected the device and inserted a couple of digits from memory and handed it back to its owner.

“I’m sorry if we weirded you out - by we, I mostly mean him. We’re just trying to look after our friend. We’ll just order our drinks and get out of your hair.” Chanhee apologized, pulling Changmin closer to him so he wouldn't get distracted by something and wander off.

Jacob shook his head, staring down at his phone in wonder and thinly veiled excitement.

“No… no, you didn’t. You’ve actually just made my day. Thank you so much for this. Please order whatever you want, on the house.”

“You don’t have to-”

“I want to. And I hope you’ll drop by often as well.” Jacob hopefully intoned.

“They’re willing to put boba in anything here.” Changmin pointed out to Chanhee and declared to Jacob. “We’re never getting our coffee anywhere else, ever again.”

“We’re open 24 hours, seven days a week,” Jacob added, blushing when Changmin grabbed onto his hands.

“He really is perfect.”

“He’s also not yours.” Chanhee groaned, rubbing his temples. “Forget lunch, Minnie. I’m just gonna get my drink and Kevin’s and head home after I drop his off at the library. I’ll have a coffee milk tea and one iced americano to go please.”

“I’ll take a black sugar bubble tea too!” Changmin added before facing Chanhee. “What’s wrong? Why aren’t you having lunch with me anymore?”

The week-long exhaustion had sunk a little deeper into his bones at that point and Chanhee was frankly seconds away from collapsing in public. It was much safer to crash in the comfort of his room, where he could remain until his body demanded some source of sustenance.

“It’s not you, bud. I’m just really tired. Maybe we could do dinner instead?” he proposed, not wanting to hurt Changmin’s feelings.

“Would you like me to bring it over for you?” Changmin offered without hesitation.

At the end of the day, that’s what happened. They’d dropped Kevin’s coffee for him at the library where Chanhee literally had to drag Changmin away five minutes after they arrived because he was very close to exposing what they’d been up to, leaving behind a confused and blissfully clueless Kevin.

After that, they went their separate ways - Changmin to his final class of the day and Chanhee headed home, opting for a shower before slipping beneath his covers. Sleep didn’t find him immediately, stalled by the plague of thoughts that flooded his mind, most of them about the dark-haired boy he’d met earlier at his shoot.

He was positive that there had been some truth in the conversation they’d had earlier. But he’d also been holding a part of himself back, possibly what Chanhee had gotten a glimpse of at the cafe.

_So why did he even bother talking to Chanhee in the first place?_ If his intentions had been to flirt, the game was obviously over the moment Chanhee spotted him with that girl.

If that was the case… _why had he looked so regretful as he looked away?_

Eventually, he lost his hold over his consciousness and woke up three hours later thanks to Kevin’s loud call of “ _Honey! I’m home!_ ” and Changmin flopping onto his bed seconds later.

He’d been drowsily picking at a plate of rose pasta - his favorite - when Kevin stumbled into the living room, seemingly lost in thought. Changmin wanted to question his odd state but Chanhee instructed him to give it a minute, as most good things take time.

_And, boy, was it good._

“Which of the two of you smartasses gave Jacob my phone number?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyy  
> 😭😭😭😭  
> Oh my God, I am so sorry. I’ve had this chapter ready for over a week, but I’ve been so busy and stressed and my internet had issues so I wasn’t entirely keen on piling up more frustration.😢
> 
> But, that’s not important right now. Because today is December 6, 2020, and it’s The Boyz 3rd anniversary!😆😆😆💖💖💖💖🎉🎉🎉🎆🎆🎊🎊🎊 Our babies are three years old!🎂🎂🎂🎂 I actually wanted to write a different fic in celebration of the anniversary, something short and cute, but as I said, I’ve been really busy so I couldn't. I really do want to write on that idea, so I might just publish it a little later than expected.
> 
> Did you attend the concert? Was it as amazing as I dreamed? I couldn't afford it, but some lovely Deobis posted clips of their solo and unit performances and I was really thankful to watch those! Can we please talk about Haknyeon performing Jjiniya and why I expected him to dance to their 1theK choreography?
> 
> And they won an AAA award and an MMA one for original content. This year has been really difficult, but I am super thankful that I got to stan this wonderful group. They are literally my biggest flex and I fall a little harder for them each day. 
> 
> And I got to participate in my very first Deobi Selca Day on Twitter! 😄
> 
> Thank you for waiting for an update and reading it. It really makes me so happy to see so many positive responses. If you have any suggestions or creative criticism, please leave a comment. Leave a kudos if you liked it and don’t forget to bookmark and subscribe to know when I update. Thank you again for reading and happy anniversary to us.
> 
> Take care of yourselves! Stay safe and warm, like Sunwoo says.😃😃💗💗💗
> 
> P.S.: Am I the only one who isn’t really feeling the Christmas vibe yet and is waiting for Chrismassy to deliver the Christmas spirit into my heart?
> 
> Also, I’m on Twitter! Come say hi! @byeolsaenggak_


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year, everyone! How was your holiday? Christmas and the new years were really special for me because I spend them with my family and I felt really loved and blessed. I really hope you all enjoyed it too.
> 
> I'm sorry that I'm so terrible at updating consistently. I actually wrapped up this chapter before Christmas but it needed some editing and then I wanted it to be a new year gift and I've been busy with work and I'm trying to prepare my school final year project, even though my school isn't open because they're a bunch of jackasses who are gonna hop on the new wave of corona to stall until their greed is satisfied.
> 
> ... sorry. I'm tired. It's midnight as I'm typing this and I have work to do in the morning.
> 
> Just so you know, I love you. I am so thankful to you for reading, commenting, and leaving a kudos. I've been a little sad with my writing in the past but then I found The Boyz and started writing fics on them and I'm just really happy. Please know that I will try to ensure that you laugh, coo, and feel comforted in each chapter, with every word I write. Enjoy the rest of your week and the chapter!
> 
> P.S: Who else is watching Color Rush and misses Hyun Jun like crazy? Because I cant wait for it to be morning so I can hide somewhere and cry over episode 3. 😭😭😭😭

Going home was never fun for Sangyeon.

Then again, the concept of fun was lost on him through most of his childhood, so there was that. However, that did little to dwindle the feeling of dread that crept up his spin as the car got closer and closer to his family’s manor until he was standing in the driveway with his heart in his throat.

It was meant to be a weekend leave. Just drop by to attend to duties that required his physical presence and exchange formalities with his parents. Then his father brought up an important meeting that he had apparently neglected to tell Sangyeon about in advance and instructed that he just remain home until it was sorted out.

A few days later, while Sangyeon’s classmates were on their way to an economics lesson, he was on a plane en-route to London for a conference. It was as horrible as all the others, filled with stiff smiles, jealous glares, and forced handshakes.

He was desperately looking forward to returning to his apartment, to the point it felt like he missed Younghoon - that was a very horrifying thought and he killed it the moment it had begun to take shape in his mind. And then his mother dealt her own cards and he was trapped beneath their strict gazes for another week.

Finally, they had no other tricks to keep him bound with and allowed him to return to his studies -  _ not without the usual speech _ .

“I trust you’re giving it your best.” 

“Yes, father.”

“And none of your duties here are being neglected?”

“No, father. I’m doing all I can to ensure I stay on top of everything that requires my attention.”

_ Everything and more, hence the constant headaches ebbing away at his strength. _

“I expect nothing less.” his father stated, not looking at him - something Sangyeon learned earlier in his life meant he was on his father’s good side, _ for the moment _ .

“Of course, father.” he bowed, slowly turning to leave, desperate for air.

“Sangyeon.”

He stopped, lungs protesting as he inhaled sharply and turned back to his father, relieved to find his attention still focused on the papers spread out before him.

“Yes, sir?”

“A colleague of mine has a son who recently enrolled in your college. Remember Mr. Sohn?”

Sangyeon frowned, trying to recall any dealings with anyone possessing that name, concerned when he came up blank.

“... vaguely.”

His father paused, his scribbling coming to a stop momentarily before proceeding a moment later. “He hasn’t been dealing with our major sect for over a decade now, so it's normal for you not to recall him. You’ve only met him a handful of times, along with his son. I believe you were ten.”

“Oh.”

“He called and asked me if I could get you to keep an eye on his ward. I understand if you’re too preoccupied as it is and would rather focus your attention on more important matters.”

Translation;  _ decline and tell me what I already know. That you’re incapable of anything remotely challenging _ .

“No… no. I can handle it. I’ll watch over him.” Sangyeon asserted, not entirely fond of looking after some snotty, spoiled rich kid.

“I do not expect you to treat your other duties with less regard.”

“I won't,” he promised, already tired at the idea of shepherding a lost freshman. “What is his name?”

His father waved him away, clearly done with Sangyeon. “His details will be sent to you soon.”

Thankful for his dismissal, Sangyeon bowed and exited his father’s study, heading straight to the driveway where his driver was waiting to take him back to his condo.

His phone buzzed in the pocket of his jacket as the car rolled away from the imposing, large structure he was raised in but could never find it in himself to call it  _ home _ , and he sighed, leaning his head back as he pulled the device out of his pocket.

The notification informed him of the arrival of an email from jack - his father’s secretary - and he guessed it was about the kid he was meant to look after and opened it with a weary sigh.

There was a name at the top which he failed to notice, gaze fixed on the picture of a blonde boy smiling widely at someone or something to his left. 

There was no way…  _ it couldn't be _ .

Nearly dropping his phone, his fingers scrolled up to search for more details, anything that proved him wrong. But there it was, written boldly above the high definition image.

_ Name: Eric Sohn. _

_ It was him _ . The freshman he’d helped out before he returned home. If he was somehow related to Sangyeon’s family, why hadn't he said so? Granted, Sangyeon couldn't remember meeting him, even though his father said he had and by his accounts, it happened over a decade ago.

So it’s possible Eric couldn't remember, since he would’ve been younger. But the way he’d looked at the elder… the words he’d said and dismissed as unimportant…

Once he got home, the first thing he did was send Jacob a couple of texts of casual greetings and a request for a meeting. When the other hadn't replied shortly after Sangyeon was informed that his messages had been received, he dialed Jacob’s number and relieved when Jacob answered on the second ring, settling into a couch to begin what he sensed would be a rather long conversation.

* * *

Jacob stared at the time display at the top of his phone, seeming to be patiently waiting for the digits to finally read 9:00 PM. Subconsciously, he was a little thankful his shift had ended and he could afford to spend his time waiting for the hour to arrive and very nervous about what he had to do when it was time. 

Chanhee was practically a godsend and like an angel who had heard the prayers of his heart —  _ which he had actually said _ — he showed up out of nowhere and delivered what Jacob had wanted for a while now. 

In the short time he'd interacted with Kevin, he was taken by the other, charmed by his quirky side and natural awkwardness that he never let hold him back. It was strange how starstruck Jacob was with someone he had only met once and he wasn't quite sure what to make of those feelings after. 

It didn't help that he didn't see Kevin again after that and at least now he knew why. He didn't want to say anything about what was happening in his heart, didn't want to jinx anything. All he wanted was to see the curly-haired boy again. To talk to him comfortably, to get to know him. 

Hopefully, Kevin would be down for that. 

Finally, the time display provided his desired results and he nodded, opened his messaging app, and assigning the number he received that afternoon — and saved as  _ Kevin the Enigma _ — pausing slightly with his fingers over the keyboard of his phone. 

Chanhee had said to text him after 9 and he didn't want to be so punctual about it... But he could hardly hold his excitement so it was pretty hard to function reasonably. 

He begrudgingly settled for 9:05 PM and began to type once the minutes arrived. He didn't want to think too much about it, otherwise, he'd probably chicken out or overwhelm Kevin, so his intended approach was gentle and friendly. 

_ Hi Kevin. _

_ This is Jacob? The guy you helped two weeks ago? I'm not sure if you remember me, but I met your friend earlier today and he gave me your number.  _

_ I hope that's okay.  _

Jacob figured that was a good enough start and settled down to wait for a reply, glancing around his office for something to keep himself busy for the time being. Unable to help himself, he nervously peeked at his screen, elated to find out that Kevin had read his texts a minute after it had been delivered. 

Biting his lip, he rose out of his chair and began pacing about, anxious to see the telling bubble that signaled that the other person was typing. 

A minute passed.  _ Then another _ .  _ And five more after that _ . Still nothing. No sign that Kevin had done anything besides read the text, informing Jacob that he probably had no intention of replying. 

With a defeated sigh, Jacob returned to his couch, flopping onto it lifelessly, letting his phone drop onto one of the cushions. The door to his office opened and his brother marched in, clipboard in hand and a question on his lips. 

"Hey, Cob, I'm putting together the list of groceries and wanted to know if you need anything? I think you said something about being on your last stock of whipped cream?"

Jacob forced himself to sit up quickly, trying to think of something he needed, pretty sure there was a list of them but unable to focus on anything besides the boy he wanted to see again, who probably wanted nothing to do with him. 

"Are you okay? Why do you look like someone insulted your favorite fuzzy sweater? Is that what happened? Who do I have to hurt?" Jeff queried, ever the overprotective elder brother. 

Jacob smiled a little, shaking his head lightly. "No... It's not like that. I'm just a little disappointed. It's no big deal."

Jeff sat down next to him. "Care to share? Does this have anything to do with that adorable meltdown you had two weeks ago on Saturday?"

Jacob narrowed his eyes. "I'm not sure how I feel about your good memory anymore."

"That's okay. As long as it serves me well, everyone else can eat their hearts out."

"Not sure how I feel about  _ you  _ entirely." Jacob teased with a deep sigh. "But... Yes. It's about this guy I met that day. He was... Really interesting and I thought... I thought we might've had a moment? It's silly but I really wanted to see him again. I still do. But he never came back to the café so I thought I was the only one who felt what I did and that maybe he'd forgotten about me. But his friend showed up and told me that he talked about me a lot and was just too nervous to come back. And he gave me his number and I texted and he hasn't replied. Maybe I'm over-thinking things. I don't know. I haven't really felt like this before. You more than anyone knows what I'm like. I've never really... Freaked out about anything or anyone the way I did when I met him. And now, my patience is being tested."

Jeff nodded with a casual shrug. 

"Definitely. If his friend said he was too nervous to visit you, maybe he's too nervous to reply. You should give it a moment. I'm sure you're not the only one who feels the way you do."

"You have too much faith in me."

"No, I'm just recalling how our suggestion boxes are constantly filled with love letters and gifts addressed to you and how your café is constantly packed with people who buy several drinks during your shift so they can stare at you."

Jacob blushed, wishing more than anything that his brother's words were false and not facts. 

"Relax. Give it some time. If truly he doesn't want to see you — which I really doubt — then he doesn't deserve you." Jeff encouraged, rising to his feet. "You can send me your list later. I'm not going shopping till tomorrow anyway. You should head home soon."

With a smile, Jacob nodded.

"Thanks. I'm just gonna go over some of our reports and then leave."

"I'll see you later... And you should check your phone. It's buzzing."

Jacob blinked slowly, eyes widening and he literally dived towards to device, unable to coordinate his hands and dropping it the moment he grasped onto it. 

"Good night Jacob," Jeff laughed as he exited the office. 

Finally, Jacob had retrieved the phone from the floor, relieved to see it wasn't cracked or damaged, taking a deep breath before tapping the dark screen to turn it on, feeling guilty at the disappointment that welled up in him when he noticed the texts weren't from Kevin.

Before he could go through them, his phone began to ring, displaying the contact information of the sender and he answered immediately.

“He lives.”

“I could say the same thing about you. Didn’t lose your phone today?” 

Jacob laughed nervously, perfectly picturing the expression Sangyeon would have at the sound of the oddity, blushing as he admitted,

“I’m holding onto it super tightly for now. I’m trying to talk to someone important. What’s up?”

Sangyeon paused, trying to figure out what exactly the problem was and how to phrase it to make it seem important because he really couldn't tell what was wrong. He could just sense that something wasn’t sitting quite right in his chest each time he thought about Eric.

Their meeting two weeks ago had been circumstantial and as strange as it had been, it left something of an impression on Sangyeon and he knew he could be honest with Jacob about it.

“Is everything okay?” Jacob queried in concern, after the initial response of silence he’d received.

“I don’t know. My father said a colleague of his wanted me to look after his son who’s a freshman here.”

“And you don’t like that?”

“Not at first. It’s … complicated. My father said I’d met him a couple of times and I can't remember it. It’s odd.” Sangyeon paused as he heard rustling on the other line and guilt rose in his chest. “Are you busy, Jacob?”

“Not really. Just wrapping up my shift and trying to understand what’s wrong with you. So you apparently met the kid before and you can't remember. That happens. Who is he, anyway? We can find him later if you’re free.” Jacob proposed.

“We don’t need to find him. We know who he is.” Sangyeon inhaled deeply. “It’s Eric.”

“Oh. That’s… that actually explains a lot.”

Sangyeon paused, not sure if he heard correctly. “What?”

“Well… I was going to tell you sooner, but what was meant to be a weekend trip was extended into a two-week leave of absence. He’s been coming to the café a lot and Younghoon says I’ve sort of adopted him-”

“That is very much like you.”

“-and during his first visit, he said a few things that led me to believe he knew you, a lot more than he was letting on.”

“So why didn’t he say anything when we first met?”

Jacob sighed. “I can't say for certain but from his behavior, he might’ve made a few mistakes. Some of which still haunt him today. Now that we know there’s definitely some connection between you two, I think you should talk to him. Find out what really happened and why he’s still so affected. Or… don’t. if you’d prefer not to.”

Sangyeon paused, trying to properly consider all that Jacob had said and figure out where to go from there.

“I… I don’t know what I want,” he admitted quietly. “I don’t think I ever have. What’s the point, when I’d never get it anyway?”

Jacob sighed and placed the last of his stuff into his bag pack, leaning against his desk before he spoke.

“Sangyeon, I think you’re over-thinking this. In a way, it’s something you and Eric have in common. He’s a sweet kid but he struggles a lot to make basic decisions and I don’t think either of you needs to suffer this much. You’re too special for all that pain. Don’t think. Find him and talk to him. Just be honest and I’m sure he will be too.”

“Any clues on where I can find him? Since he’s sort of your kid now-”

“Hush. He’s at the library in his faculty. He said he had some report he needed to finish before tomorrow.”

“Thanks, mom.” 

Jacob rolled his eyes but still wished Sangyeon luck, staring blankly at the screen of his phone after the call ended.

Still nothing from Kevin.  _ Maybe Chanhee was mistaken _ , Jacob mused as he picked his bag up and walked out of his office, choosing not to believe that the other had set him up to fail when they’d never met before.

At the counter, Hyunjae stood laughing at something Haknyeon was saying, the latter making good on his free treats and coffee pact Jacob had offered after their second meeting. Not really feeling up to a conversation, Jacob waved at them and exited the café, heart feeling a little hurt at all the wishful thoughts that amounted to nothing.

“Jacob?”

He turned at the sound of his name, eyes widening at the sight of Kevin standing before him, seeming unsure of everything around him.

“Kevin? Hi. It’s late. What brings you here?” Jacob queried, trying to stifle the hope rising in his chest.

“You?” Kevin laughed nervously. “I mean - I’m really sorry. I’m a dumbass and I hate my life. I sort of freaked out after you texted and I had a little fight with Chanhee - nothing bad, just our usual lovers spat - not that we’re lovers! Changmin says we argue like an old, married couple - both of which we are not - and I… I accidentally left you on read without even really reading anything besides your name a-and… I’m really sorry. I really screwed this up, didn’t I?”

Beneath the light emitting from the bulbs hanging inside the café, Kevin looked so much smaller than the confident and awkward ball of kindness Jacob had met and it really hurt to see him like that.

“So… you came to see me? Because you hadn't replied early?”

Kevin nervously shifted from one foot to the other, looking at anything and everything that wasn’t Jacob.

“It wouldn't have been enough to  _ just  _ text back,” he whispered, eyes sinking to the concrete sidewalk. “I just didn’t want you to get the wrong idea.”

Jacob frowned, confused. “Which is?”

“That I don’t want to talk to you. I thought about coming to see you every day since we met. But… I’m not good at this. Being social and friendly and normal. I was scared that you’d see that and…” Kevin shrugged.

That was…  _ a lot _ . It was proof that whatever Jacob was feeling wasn’t one-sided and as much as Jacob was ready to embrace it… Kevin seemed unsure of how to do so and ultimately, he was scared of it. Jacob didn’t want to chalk it up to Kevin being afraid of him, but more of what Jacob might think and it was upsetting to realize that Kevin wasn’t aware of how unique he was.

“Kevin, would you like me to make you a drink? You left before I could properly thank you last time.”

“I don’t want to bother you-”

“Please?” Jacob pouted, reaching forward to hold Kevin’s hand but stopping himself before their fingers brushed. “I’d really like to.”

Kevin glanced at the doors of the café and stepped closer to Jacob. “But your shift is over.”

“I own the place. I can make whatever I want whenever I want.”

“Those are Boss goals, right there. How can I grow up to be just like you?” Kevin asked with mock wistfulness.

Jacob made a whole show of thinking about it, smiling when Kevin laughed a little. 

“I don’t know about that, but I can tell you how to get free drinks whenever you want.”

“Ohhh. Is this a promotional perk?”

“Something like that. Just… come by often. And I’ll make you something.”

Kevin fell silent and Jacob panicked, thinking he had crossed a line and caused the other to retreat.

“What if I want free drinks every day? Do the same rules apply?”

Heat flood Jacob’s cheeks and he nodded slowly.

“Won’t you get bored of me?” 

“No. I really don’t think so.” Jacob said with conviction that ran deeper than he realized he possessed.

Kevin said nothing, reaching out to hold Jacob’s hand before pulling him towards the door of the café.

“So, what will you make for me?”

“Whatever you want.” 

* * *

Eric tentatively sipped his strawberry smoothie, pretending to be admiring the aesthetic décor systematically placed around the diner - as if he and Sunwoo haven’t been there for dinner three times in the last week. Although his efforts might be futile, Eric was determined to buy himself as much time as possible to soothe his nerves because Sangyeon had questions and it seemed he was determined to get answers from Eric.

The younger had nearly burst into tears under Sangyeon’s unflinching stare after the elder had voiced his question and when it became obvious that Eric was on the brink of a meltdown, something flashed in his eyes and his expression softened.

“We need to talk. Follow me.”

The diner was the closest place to where they had met and Sangyeon had gruffly instructed Eric to order whatever he wanted and he instantly went for strawberry, Sunwoo’s preferred choice, hoping the thought of his best friend would put him at ease. But after ten minutes of silent slurping, it wasn’t doing anything more than making him hyper-aware of Sangyeon’s gaze and filling his mouth with an overly sweet taste.

“What’s gonna happen when you run out of smoothie?” Sangyeon queried, his face upholding a passive expression that Eric felt was hiding a storm his eyes betrayed.

“I’m sure we’ll find out soon,” Eric mumbled around his straw, eyes quaking seconds later when he attempted to sip the thick, frothy liquid and was met with fragrant air.

With a sigh and a burp - which he reacted to by slapping his hands over his mouth, mumbling hushed apologies - he sat back and forced himself to look at the elder.

“Are you ready to talk to me now?”

Eric was tired, of so much and it felt like he couldn't do much else to hold up the front of lies he’d been holding so close for the last few days. Right now, honesty seemed ideal.

“Not particularly,” he admitted, straightening his spine. “But it’s important to you that I do. So I will. What do you want to know?”

Sangyeon winced and Eric wondered what he said wrong, lips parting to ask but stopping as Sangyeon spoke.

“Does… am I  _ forcing  _ you to do this? If you don’t want to see me, I could… I can leave. If that’s what you want.”

Eric blinked, surprised at the words he’d just heard.

“Don’t you want to know?”

“I do. But I don’t want to bully you into giving me what I want. I swore I’d never do that to anyone, ever. Just because I’m conflicted and lost… doesn’t mean I should pressure and hold it over you.”

“You’re not - that’s not why!”

Although a little stunned by his outburst, Eric pressed on because Sangyeon needed to know the reasons behind his intention. Because Sangyeon needed to hold no self-resentment for the same reason Eric did.

Because of his actions.

“I’ve been a little anxious. I hadn't seen you around in a while and I didn’t expect you’d ask me that whenever we met again-”

“You didn’t think I’d find out?” Sangyeon snapped out, seemingly insulted.

Eric smiled sadly and shook his head. “I didn’t think you’d want to talk to me again after you found out. You didn’t want to last time.”

Like a hand pressed against his back, Eric could freshly remember  _ the cold, empty voice snapping at him, the wrist being pulled out of his grasp, and the retreating back of the person he’d hurt beyond remedy _ .

“Why didn’t you tell me you knew who I was?”

“Because you didn’t remember. What would’ve been the point?” Eric shrugged, lifting his hand to catch the attention of a waitress, heart skipping as Sangyeon’s hand encircled his wrist and lowered it gently.

“Were we friends?”

Eric swallowed, unable to look away from the elder. “I like to think we were.”

“What happened? Why can't I remember you then?”

He could only answer one of those questions, but he really didn’t want to. So he tried to change the course of things.

“How did you know I knew who you were?”

Sangyeon didn’t appear to be happy about Eric’s question but he relented and responded.

“My father told me that your dad had requested that I look after you.”

Eric stiffened.  _ He didn’t _ .

“ _ What _ ?”

“You don’t look happy about it,” Sangyeon commented.

“Of course I’m not! I expressly told him not to!” Eric practically shrieked, fishing around his pockets for his phone.

When he realized it wasn’t in any of the pockets, he pulled his backpack closer to him rummaging through it with the ferocity of an angry kitten, letting out a victorious cackle once the device appeared in his sight.

“Eric-”

“I’m really sorry about this. I told him not to bother you, but no one in my family rates me because I’m still  _ a freaking minor _ . I’m calling him right now to tell him-” Eric’s words were cut off as Sangyeon gracefully extracted his phone from the spot where it was nestled between Eric’s cheek and right hand, clicking the red icon to end the call.

“I already said I’d do it.”

Eric paled, heart, beating wildly in his chest as he prayed he’d misheard the words that had been addressed to him.

“You didn’t. please tell me you’re kidding.”

“I don’t kid. I don’t know  _ how to _ .” Sangyeon blinked blankly and Eric laughed without finding any part of the situation funny.

“Why would you do that?! How does your father feel about it?”

Sangyeon bristled and narrowed his gaze, his tone taking on a sharp edge. “What has he got to do with any of this?”

_ I know _ , Eric wanted to say.  _ I know you can't make any decisions without his say so. I know he’s kept you backed up in a corner and you’ve never been out of it _ .

But letting those words out would do more damage than good.

“I just wanted to know if he’s cool with you following me around.” Eric bit his lip nervously.

“He doesn’t care.”

_ That was a lie _ . Lee Sangyeon had just looked right at him and lied. Wow, things were really a lot more complicated than they looked.

“Sangyeon, you don’t have to do this. I can talk to my father and get him to drop this ridiculous request.”

“I’ve already accepted before I realized I was meant to look after you.”

“And you still want to do it?”

“Even more so now.”

That caught Eric’s attention. “Why?”

Sangyeon shrugged, handing Eric back his phone. “I guess I want to know more about you. You said we were friends and yet you’re trying to avoid me. I can't remember anything about you and you won't tell me why. You feel achingly familiar and I want to protect you. There are a couple more reasons I haven't really ironed out yet, but that’s basically the main point. Why don’t you want me to?”

Eric’s mouth moved before his mind had fully processed his response.

“Because I’m scared I’ll hurt you again. I’m scared that I’ll ruin things for you again and this time, the damage will be greater and permanent and you’ll never want to see me again. Just last like time.”

“Is that what happened? You…  _ hurt me _ ?” Sangyeon questioned, confused.

Eric rose out of the booth, zipping up his backpack and tossing it over a shoulder.

“I need to go. I have baseball practice tomorrow. Thank you for the smoothie.”

“Eric-”

The younger turned around and walked out of the diner, shakily exhaling as he glanced around trying to remember the direction of his dorm, frustrated by his frazzled nerves and the tears in his eyes.

A hang grabbed onto his wrist and pulled him back, the sudden action causing him to stumble, right into the chest of whoever was holding onto him.

“You’re crying.”

“They’re tears of exhaustion. I’m sleepy.”

“I don’t believe you.” Sangyeon tsked simply, gently lifting Eric’s head using the fingers placed under the younger’s chin, wiping at the tears with his thumb.

“I had five classes today. College is hard.” Eric whined.

“I wasn’t talking about that. I meant I didn’t believe that you hurt me.  _ You’re the one in tears _ .  _ You’re the one who can't look me in the eye _ . I think I’m the offender.”

“You’re not!” Eric squawked, pursing his lips as Sangyeon leaned closer.

“Don’t worry, I’ll figure it out. Until then, I’ll be happy to look after you, freshman.”

That sounded like a promise to Eric. And as Sangyeon escorted Eric to his doorstep, making an off-handed comment about how the last time he was here, Eric made an interesting, worry-inducing sight, patting the younger on the head gently as he let out a groan of embarrassment, Eric made a promise of his own. 

_ To be better this time _ . To act and think carefully to prevent any of his actions from costing Sangyeon anything. To do everything he could to make sure that as long as Sangyeon was by his side, he had a smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment if you have any questions and I'll do my best to answer them as well as I can without giving any spoilers.
> 
> I'm on twitter! Come say hi @byeolsaenggak_

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyyy  
> What do you think? I know there are a lot of questions and maybe some confusion. I promise I’ll smoothen things out in the next chapter— at least some of them. I’ve been watching a lot of vlives so I can know more about their personalities and the like so that it's easier for your imagination of the story to work with the facts you already have in your head. I’m a relatively new Deobi at this time (joined the fandom in July), and so I’m still learning about The Boyz, and I love them so much! I’ve been a kpop stan for 5 years, but I just bought my first album, and it was a Chase album! It's my favorite thing in the world and an early Christmas gift to myself, and I love it. The photobook has given me a few ideas on fics that will hopefully be shorter than this so I can write and post them while this is still ongoing. Please give The Boyz a lot of love. If you like this story, please stick around for more, comment, share, subscribe so you'll know when I update and leave a kudos. It will get better, and I will do my best to update as often as I can. Please take care of yourself, and listen to Got It - The Boyz. I listened to it a lot while I wrote this, and it helped me visualize the beginning of the story.
> 
> Have a beautiful day!
> 
> I’m on Twitter! Come and say hi, let's talk about whatever you want (I have an extensive interest range) @byeolsaenggak_


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